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Cross Currents…

Each morning at dawn you’ll find me in my kayak on Tampa Bay. For me, it has become part exercise…part church. It’s a place where I can silence my mind and just listen to the rhythmic sound of my paddles quietly entering the water with each stroke. Beginning each day on the water brings with it new surprises. Some days the water is like glass…perfectly quiet and smooth. Some days the winds create a slight chop in the water which makes paddling a bit more challenging. Also, as I navigate out of my neighborhood and into the open bay, I am sometimes met with different water conditions based on the intensity and direction of the wind. Like life, changing conditions are around every corner.

What I’ve also come to learn from my early morning kayaking is how deceptive a cross-current is. It’s one of those currents that approach my kayak not straight on or from behind…but at an angle. Those are difficult because when I look at the chopping waves of the cross current approaching my kayak, I can get disoriented from the direction I am trying to paddle and my kayak ends up moving in the direction the current is moving…rather than remaining true to my intended heading. It literally makes me dizzy if I look at it!

So, what I’ve learned to do is to ignore the current entirely… and instead, pick a single point on the shoreline to paddle towards. Single point of focus. This way I can maintain my heading…

Hmmm…that sounds like good life advice as well!

All too often, we find ourselves going through life and without thinking about it, we find a “cultural cross current” acting on us. Unlike the currents that hit you head on (which we can all deal with)…or power you from behind (which we all love), these currents are deceptive. They are sneaky and are constantly trying to divert you from your intended heading.

So what if you don’t have a heading?

That is a problem… Without a single point of focus off in the distance to move toward, you’ll most likely soon find yourself way off course! Why? Because that’s what the “cultural cross current” wants. It wants to take you off course…even it has no real place to take you to…it just wants to interrupt your heading.

I have seen this play out in real life all too often. Many people I know have been taken off course by a variety of “cultural cross-currents” pulling them away from their path. They are so common to us, we barely recognize them, so let me list a few just so you know where to spot them:

  • Most TV shows
  • TV Commercials of all types
  • Music
  • Movies
  • The News
  • Drugs and Alcohol
  • Some friends…and even some family
  • Social Media and cell phones in general.

Currents are a fact of life and when you’re on the water…currents are a part of the environment. We can’t fight them…but we also can’t (and shouldn’t) ignore them and their potential impact and influence on our heading.

Pick a spot out on your horizon…and row steadily towards it…and most likely…you’ll be fine.

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Submitting…

As a kid, I used to watch a TV program called “Kung Fu” with David Carradine. I watched every episode in the early 70’s… “my impressionable years.” I remember one particular episode when Kwai Chang Caine (the Shaolin monk played by David Carradine) said the following:

“One should always be the willow that bends with the wind rather than the mighty oak that breaks in the storm.”

Evidently, that episode made an impression on me because that act of “bending” or “submitting” is what has been on my mind over the past few months…so I guess it’s time to write about it.

In our culture, “submitting” is not something that we celebrate as a strength. When I think about it, I believe our resistance to submit is the basis for the majority of the problems most of us wrestle with today in our relationships. We are taught at an early age to “stand up for ourselves” and to “speak our truth” and “not to back down”, and I believe all those things are true and valid. I also believe many of us have associated the act of submission with giving up…and it’s not…it’s simply “giving in.”

Giving up is much different than giving in. Giving up is admitting defeat. Giving in is yielding to someone you care about in order to reach a higher gain. It’s losing the battle to win the war.

Pastor Andy Stanley gave a sermon on marriage a couple of years ago. He said that a strong marriage is marked by mutual submission. Each person yielding his or her preferences for the benefit of the other. It’s taking the focus off of my wants and acting on what they might want. Not defending my point of view, but really trying to understand their point of view. That’s great advice but it’s incredibly difficult!

At times we all act like 2-year old’s defending positions that in the grand scheme of things…mean way less than the value of our relationships. Yet we still fight on!

Being married, I’ve practiced the art of “submitting” just about every day. From TV program choices to furniture placement in the home to how the toilet paper goes on the roll right down to where to put the sponge in the sink. All these things are opportunities for me to suspend an opinion and just focus on on the betterment of the relationship. You know… it works…it makes me a better husband… and it makes our relationship better.

Giving in is not giving up. It takes way more strength and love to suspend your wants just because you love someone else more.

If you don’t believe me..read Matthew 26:42.

“He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

Submitting changes everything…for the good.

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The Power of “and”…

10 years ago, I was working in San Diego building the Rock Church. I worked with an interior designer on the project and she taught me a valuable lesson.

Her name was Robin Wilson Carrier and she would always listen to my suggestions about what we should or should not do on the project with regard to design. I would often have this great idea and I would be excited to tell her all about it hoping to convince her to incorporate my idea into her design. She would just sit there and listen to me smiling and when I would finish talking, she would nod and say, “and… we might also think of…,” then she would go on to share her much better (and professionally trained) idea…and at the end of the conversation…I felt heard and I felt good about her decision.

The key thing I learned was the power of the word “and.”

So what is so great about that three letter word? When I was a kid, I would spend my Saturday mornings watching, “Schoolhouse Rock.” From that show, I learned that the words “and, but and or” are conjunctions. Remember, “Conjunction junction what’s your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses…” anyway…

The use of these three conjunctions are very similar, but the effect they have on others…can be quite different.

For instance, when we use the conjunction “but” connecting two thoughts, we are many times negating the first thought by introducing the second thought. It’s like we are saying “you’re wrong and I’m right.” We hear it all the time on TV news programs as the talking heads on the TV scream and yell at each other trying to make their point.

Similarly, when we use the conjunction “or”, we are usually offering a choice. These choices generally take us in opposite directions. Up or down, good or bad, chicken or fish. Either this or that. What we are implying is that neither choice is necessarily bad… just different.

Then, there is the “and” conjunction. I think it is the “feel good conjunction.” It “validates” the first thought as being important, yet offers more…an additional thought! Using “and” makes people feel better. It is a “unifier” and I believe if we consciously used “and” in situations where we typically use “but”…we would all be a lot better off.

So why do I think about these things…?

Well, I have struggled for several years with the ultimate direction of my professional life. I spent 30 years in the Construction industry and I thought I was good at it. However, as the years wore on, I felt like I lacked a sense of purpose for my efforts and I blamed that feeling on the industry. Project after project would come and go and I never felt any connection to the “why” I was doing it.

About this time, I began to go on mission trips and serving people in other countries. It gave me everything I was looking for! It gave me purpose and filled that huge void that the construction industry could not.

So I struggled for years wrestling with two primary beliefs:

  1. I loved the personal satisfaction that missions gave me, but in order to have that, I would have to give up making money and totally rely on God to meet my financial needs.
  2. I was to follow God and serve people in missions or work in the secular world with a normal job.

I never thought about using “and” until recently…

After returning from almost two years serving in Guatemala, I moved to Jacksonville, FL for a short time. While I was there, I was constantly searching for what God wanted me to do. What was my next step? Ministry or Construction? Ministry or Start a Business?

One day, I attended a C12 meeting and the answer to that question became clear. The C12 organization is comprised of CEO’s within the community that are Christians and run their businesses using Christian based values. It was during this day-long meeting that I got to speak with, and listen to Christian leaders that identified their businesses as their ministries. They did so not in an overt or heavy-handed way but simply living out what they believed. What a concept! Ministry was their business and their business was their ministry! I got it!

Fast forward to now…

Now, I am back in the construction industry building projects and… lovin’ on people as I was able to do in Guatemala and Africa. I see ministry opportunities in my workplace everywhere! I see chances to encourage people and to help people each day and that new perspective has allowed me “live on mission” and earn a living doing what I’m skilled at doing.

My workplace is my ministry. God didn’t make me give up anything…He added to…!

I have learned…and am finally living… the power of “and.”

Thank you, Robin!

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No Job…No Problem…!

A manifesto for living in the new economy.

Having been out of the country for almost two years, I’ve effectively been out of the day-to-day marketplace. The fact that I’m not ready to retire, means that I’m not ready to stop working.

But the challenge becomes…how do I get back in the game? So I sat down and put together a strategy that I’m hoping makes sense…not only for me…but for all those people currently doing the same thing.

Please feel free to forward it to one of YOUR friends that might be in the same boat!

Change your thinking:

  1. Looking for a job is a powerless position. If you are looking for a job, you’re basically trying to persuade someone to find value in you. Once you’re an employee, you become a simple line item in their overhead budget and that and costs them money.
  2. Alternative: They need you! View them as a client. You must boil down what talent you can bring them. You must give them ideas of how they can use you. Specific ideas. Give them real life examples of the problems you can solve within their company. Either with photos, names, pursuits or problems you know they are facing.
  3. Bring value from Day 1. There will be no learning curve. They need you…they just don’t know it yet.

Change the way you view money – Finances:

  1. Your life is a balance sheet. You are looking for income. Yet, you are also cutting expenses.
  2. Income. People are always looking for people to take care of a problem they have. The bigger the problem, the more they will pay. Your job…find problems. Then either fix them, if you have the skill and expertise… or find someone who can fix them… and then manage the process.
    1. You do this by getting to know people.
    2. Asking them questions about themselves.
    3. Learning…about them.
    4. Listening to…you guessed it….them.
    5. Do this…and at some point you’ll hear what they are struggling with. Spend time looking for problems…then solve them….and get paid.
  3. There are also other means of income. SELL YOUR CRAP! Literally! If you have moved at any point in the past few years, you will undoubtedly have said…I’ve got too much crap! Most of us do and it all has a price tag! Bottom line…if you are not actively using it…it’s crap…and it is just as good as a stack of bills…just waiting for you to find a buyer.

Change the way you deal with people – Networking:

  1. Hang out with people who are working! Don’t hang out in the library, at Starbucks, Panera or any other place that has free wi-fi. Everyone there is in the same boat as you…they are not working!
  2. Working people are busy! You must schedule a time to get on their schedule. These are the people who you want to be around because they have money, they have problems that they deal with every day and they have both connections (that are working) and money to pay you.
  3. Meet new people. Attend events that are specific to your business and expertise. Not generalized loser mixers…where everyone is looking for the same thing and nobody there has any authority to hire you.
  4. Make it easy for people to find you and learn about you.
    • Facebook
    • LinkedIn
    • Blog
    • Visual CV
    • Personal website

Change the way you view yourself –

  1. Get up each day and get out of the house by 8 am.
  2. Get dressed in business attire.
  3. Eat lunch downtown.
  4. Smile.
  5. Workout.
  6. Never say you’re unemployed, you are consulting.
  7. Never have a bad day.
  8. Business comes from people…not computers…get in front of people.
  9. Always call…never text, email or other spineless ways of trying to get in front of someone.
  10. Advertise your success on Facebook, LinkedIn… But in a professional way.
  11. Bring value. If you read something interesting. Write a note to a colleague and send it. Highlight several points so they can see you actually read it and boil it down to why you sent it to them. (Remember, they are busy…they have a job).
  12. You are a BRAND! If I googled you…what would I find? Would it be consistent and would it support the message you are telling me and the world about you?
  13. Work on your BRAND every day.

Now quit reading this…and go out and get a new Client!

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Re-entry…

Well…it’s been almost one month since I’ve been back in the U.S. after living in Guatemala for almost two years… and I have to say…re-entry has been enlightening.

With Guatemala, its customs, its conditions and its people still fresh on my mind, jumping back into the U.S. way of being has allowed me to see and appreciate both countries with a new perspective.

Let me share and compare some of those perspectives.

Driving. (Winner – U.S.) Driving in Guatemala is organized chaos. The lanes are very narrow and mean nothing. If a car, truck or bus can fit on it…you drive on it. Chicken buses rule the road and are very aggressive…if they want your lane…they are going to take it. I remember praying each time I got behind the wheel in Guatemala, and luckily I did ok.

Driving in the U.S. is wonderful. Most everyone follows the rules, drives in their amply wide lanes, obeys traffic signals and so on. Roads are well marked, and streets have signs and numbers. Wonderful!

Food. (Winner – Guatemala) The food in Guatemala is wonderful! The markets are everywhere, and there is nothing “marked as organic”…because it’s ALL organic! Carrots are as big as the end of a baseball bat, and fresh fruits of all kinds are for sale on every street corner. The meats are all grain and grass fed, and although they are not a huge part of the daily diet, they are great quality. The best part is the price! Cheap, cheap, cheap!

I’ve been in “food sticker shock” ever since I got back! The average cost of breakfast with two eggs, hashed browns, bacon, toast, coffee and orange juice is roughly $10.00, and in Guatemala, I would spend about $5.00 for the same thing. Also, while the number of restaurants and choices in the U.S. far outnumber Guatemala…I have to say…I still dream about some of my meals in Guatemala.

People. (Winner – Guatemala) The people in Guatemala are wonderful. They are courteous, helpful and happy. They may not engage you first, but once you muster the guts to engage them…you’ve got an instant friend. They look you in the eye as you pass on the street and always return the smile you give them. The family is huge to Guatemalans, and they spend lots of time together…just being together…and they love it.

In the U.S., people seem busy, preoccupied and anxious about something or other. Most conversations I hear, (yes, I’m eavesdropping on the conversations of others…), are people complaining about politics, family, their job or something. It’s rarely good conversation…always problems. Most people are doing something on their phones rather than looking around and engaging in the world around them. That’s unfortunate and more than anything; I wish that change.

Creature Comforts. (Winner – U.S.) I have to say…I don’t miss wondering if I am going to have water from one day to the next! Many times in Guatemala, I would turn on my faucet and hear that dreaded gurgling sound. I also don’t miss the noise. The sounds of Chicken buses, the loudspeakers on the Zeta Gas trucks blaring their sales jingle, the constant explosions of firecrackers at daybreak for signifying someone’s birthday and roosters that crow at all hours of the night. Nope…I don’t miss those things.

Being home in the U.S., it’s funny how quickly I take these things for granted. Of course, I’ll have water…and I can even drink it if I want! Although there is noise, it seems to be a constant hum of traffic that is almost relaxing. I can turn on TV and get all sorts of channels…and I can understand everything they are saying! Also, if I need something, there is always a store that has it, or I can order it online and have it delivered in days! Something that was never an option in Guatemala.

Yep, I have to say that being back in the U.S. is nice in many respects. I’ve been able to see my family and friends and I don’t worry about my safety and day to day life is just…easier. However, I most certainly miss many aspects of my Guatemalan home. I miss my friends; I miss feeling that “connection” with people, I miss the smiles and laughter, I miss the beautiful children and hardworking work ethic of their parents. I especially miss seeing how far $10 will last me!

Re-entry has been enlightening…and I hope I can carry the best of what I experienced in Guatemala with me and share it here in the U.S., but I also realize the unrest that will always live inside me…as expressed best in this quote:

“You will never be completely at home again because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

― Miriam Adeney

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Anticipation…one of my favorite feelings…

I love this time of year! But not for the reasons you might expect. It’s not for the lights, the music or Santa…for me it’s the Anticipation! You see, I love that feeling! If Christmas were up to me…I would never open a gift…I would just leave it there…all wrapped up so I could look at it and wonder what was inside. I wouldn’t shake it or gently peel off the tape from the wrapping paper…I would just look at it…and that would make me happy.

Well, it’s Christmas time here in Antigua, Guatemala and the churches are celebrating Advent, which means “coming” in Latin. Each Sunday leading up to Christmas, the streets are filled with people, bands and processions carrying statues of Mary, Jesus and various Angels. They shoot off fireworks in front of the procession as well as after it passes.

The anticipation of the birth of Christ and the celebrations that are to come in just a few weeks cannot be ignored. I catch myself being both joyous and humbled as the crowds of people pass by my door in celebration that God came thru with His promise.

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Thinking about the fact that 400 years passed between the promise of the coming Lord (Malachi 3:1) and the news of His arrival (Matthew) humbles me on several levels. First of all…that’s a long time to wait… and secondly…it’s a long time to hold hope. I’m not sure I could have done it. But as always…God was true to His word.

So, as I think about “Anticipation” being one my favorite feelings, I begin to wonder where that feeling originates. I believe it originates with “Hope.” This may not be the correct definition, but this is what I believe. I believe Hope is the belief that something is good is coming and Anticipation is the feeling that is caused by Hope.

We don’t hear too much about Hope these days. Maybe it’s because many of us feel like we are in control of our life and circumstances and we feel like we don’t need it. But nothing could be farther from the truth. Everyone needs Hope! I love this quote:

“Man can live about 40 days without food, about three days without water, about eight minutes without air, but only for one second without hope.” – unknown

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I believe it!

I have been working here in Guatemala for several years and living here for almost two. During that time, I’ve been involved in training pastors and business people, working in medical clinics and building stoves. All of that has been wonderful and I think we have made a positive impact on the community to some degree. But what I think has made the greatest difference is just being here… and lovin’ on people.

I think that just lovin’ on people gives them Hope. Hope that they are ok and that they will be ok. I think it provides a spark where Faith can grow. Faith that might lead them to do something that will improve their life, Faith that tomorrow might be better than today. Faith that God has not…and will not…abandoned them.

Yep, I think Hope is the spark to everything that is good. We need it…and we need more of us dishing it out to others in massive proportions.

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So my prayer for all of us this Christmas season is to make a concerted effort to “love on people.” Anybody you can, wherever you can. Love on them with a smile, a pat on the back, a “good morning” or a “thank you.” Everytime you pass by that man or woman ringing the bell for the Salvation Army, drop some of your spare change in the bucket…not necessarily for them…but for you.

Everyone you can…wherever you can.

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Give Hope this season…it costs you nothing…but its affect never goes unappreciated…or unnoticed.

Merry Christmas.

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Two Trees…

I’ve been thinking lately about the following Bible verse:

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit.” -Matthew 12:33

When we look at a fruit tree, what do we see? We see the trunk, we see the branches, we see the leaves and in certain seasons, we will see the fruit. But is that the entire tree? No! We fail to see the most important part of the tree…the roots!

The roots of the tree not only provide stability for the tree within the surrounding soil, it also provides all the nutrition that will sustain the tree, the branches, the leaves and ultimately the fruit. The ultimate health of the roots (the overflow of nutrients) are what determines the overall health of the tree and everything it produces…or doesn’t…and we can’t even see them.

Back to the Bible for a second. The very next verse in Matthew states,

“For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.…”

Meaning, that everything we say or do, (our fruit) comes from the overflow of whatever is in our heart. Like the roots of a tree, people can’t see what is in our hearts. But they can make a determination of the condition of our heart by what is evidenced in our lives.

So let’s look at two trees:

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The “fruit” of this tree is all the bad stuff we see in our world. Things like pride, immorality, rage, drunkenness and overall discord are all the result of what we call sin. These sins seek to destroy everything it touches, and many times, the very tree itself!

But what is at the root of sin? What is feeding it?

In every case, I believe the root cause (no pun intended) of all sin is Selfishness. Simply stated…it is putting “your” needs and wants ahead of everyone else’s.

Ok, now let’s look at another tree.

On this tree, the “fruit” we see are things like love, compassion, generosity, joy and unity. All of these fruits are blessings to others. They uplift and give life to others and in every case, they are “gifts” to the recipient and, as a result, the tree thrives.

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But why? What is at the root of a tree like this?

I believe what nourishes such a tree is Selflessness. Selflessness is literally thinking of your “self” less. It is putting “others” needs and wants ahead of your own.

Two very real trees with two very different types of fruit. Unfortunately, our lives are filled with both types and what is more disturbing is that at times…we too can exemplify the same.

So what do we do?

I like to simplify stuff…so here ya go…

Focus on the root.

Which are you? Which would you like to be?

Pick one, feed it daily with your thoughts, your words, and your actions. Nurture it and then let the fruit of your life speak for itself.

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Unexpected Gifts

 Nothing is better than an unexpected gift. It can be anything, an actual item, a service, or just a listening ear at an appropriate moment.

This has been a week that was full of them.

Like most guys, there is usually a local “dive” restaurant that serves good food…at even better prices that men love to frequent for lunch or for a snack during the day. We stopped at such a place. He says that “one day” I come to love the place because they serve great food…but as I looked around at the open-air cooking stall, the thousands of flies that seemed to love the place as well and the…well you get the idea… Anyway, we stopped for a quick bite (I just had a coke…in the bottle) and we were off.

We went to a warehouse where several local ministries receive all sorts of goods from the States and sometimes they share their excess (whatever that may be) among themselves. So today, we were given several huge bags of dried red beans and dried black beans. We loaded them in the back of the truck and off we went on our errands for the day.

We stopped back by the restaurant that we had just left and Oscar filled about a dozen plastic buckets full of beans and gave them to the women that ran the restaurant. It was the most “natural” thing that I have ever seen. The look on their faces was so joyful…and once the buckets were full, we simply climbed back into the truck and went on our way. Not another word was spoken about it…it was a “natural” thing to do.

Yesterday, Amy brought about 11 women from the village over to their house and she was going to teach them how to make quiche! Not something you might expect…but evidently it’s a big deal…40Q for a small slice in restaurants = $5.21. So around lunchtime, here come the women and I got to sit back and observe Amy work with these women and teach them new cooking skills that they could have never imagined. I watched their faces and they were so joyful… Then…just like Amy…while the quiches were in the oven, Amy and her Sister-in-law taught the women how to make baby blankets. It was amazing! When it was all over one of the pregnant women when home with the blanket and the women all took quiche home to their families.

In the middle of all this, Oscar and I jumped in the truck and went to visit Jose Angel (the man with one leg) that we built a stove for in April as well as installed several solar lights. It was an impromptu visit that allowed us to see how he was “really” doing. I was disappointed to see that his living condition was not good. The place was dirty and unkempt. There were empty bins of food all over the place. He had not used the stove and his roof had leaked in several places around the lights we had installed. No Bueno.

We learned that Jose Angel was having problems figuring out how to keep a fire going in the stove and ultimately gave up. He was also out of wood. The leaks were not in the lights themselves, but in the surrounding tin roofing where they had been installed. The rains had also come in where he was sleeping and he had to move his bed to another area of his small home.

I guess what hit me was how difficult it must be for an elderly man, living alone in a wheelchair, dirt floor, and no job or income to get by on a day-to-day basis. When we were last in his home, it was clean and we had all left feeling pretty good about the work we had done by building him a stove and new lighting and how it would change his life…but that is not reality….this was reality. It was a good lesson for me and one that I need to remember. This work is not a “one and done” effort…it is an ongoing effort…

We left Jose Angel with several bags of beans, rice, and flour and Oscar said he would send some workers to his home today to repair the roof. We are also going to stock him with firewood and work with him to teach him how to use the stove. Oscar said he would also have one of his workers regularly visit Jose Angel to clean and to just provide him some help as he needs it.

Unexpected gifts…that is what today was all about. Nobody made a big deal about anything…it was just “natural”…it was just being human and taking care of people…just because we could. It was the Gospel lived out and I am so grateful that I got to experience it.

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The Paradox of Our Time

I recently was going through some old notes I have taken along the way and found this little nugget. Many people have laid claim to its wisdom, from the Dalai Lama to George Carlin and others. Regardless…I believe wisdom is wisdom…and whoever created it is irrelevant…

Our responsibility is simply to share it…so here ya go…

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more,but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air,but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more but learn less. We plan more but accomplish less.

We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight …or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember to say, “I love you” to your partner as well as your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment, for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

…and another thing… why not try to smile more while you’re at it! 🙂

-blessings,

Bob

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My Grandfather Exercise…

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I call this my “Grandfather Exercise.” By that, I mean, picture yourself as a 90-year-old grandfather (or grandmother) sitting in a rocking chair. Think about the “life wisdom” that your Grandfather-self would share with your current self if asked about those life lessons that should be known and incorporated into your life. Think about the value of that wisdom…

This is what “my Grandfather self” would say…

1. Do what you say.

to others

to yourself

2. Surround yourself with the right people.

people that are doing stuff

people that have good values

3. Relationships rule.

all opportunities come from people

be the friend you would like to have

4. Be effective not necessarily efficient.

be more concerned with results

5. Be intentional.

have a target

know why you’re doing everything you do

6. Grow.

read, travel, turn off the TV

be better tomorrow than you were today

7. Be grateful.

open your eyes, your mind and your heart…in that order

spend time outside in nature

8. Eliminate “good enough.”

it usually isn’t

9. Write it down.

thoughts, to do’s, goals, dreams, things you’re grateful for, people to pray for, memories of your youth

your mind is not meant to be a file cabinet

10. Think like a Sushi chef.

finish what you start

clean up as you go

11. Look people in the eye.

that’s where connection begins

and trust resides

12. Listen more than you speak.

your words will be more valuable

13. If it’s not nice, don’t say it.

our words are meant to lift others up

not tear them down

14. Everyone is important.

that includes you

15. Guard what you see and listen to.

you are responsible for you

16. Use the computer as a tool, not as a place to “surf.”

your time is valuable

and limited

17. Smile more!

we all need it

18. Watch your pennies.

like the saying goes, “if you watch your pennies, the dollars will take care of themselves”

19. Give.

we were not put on this earth to be only consumers

20. Think long-term.

that which is best is rarely that which is easy

I know many people that may read this post have children. I also know that you will have limited opportunities to shape the future of your children by what you choose to talk about in the car, over the dinner table, or just hanging out together. My hope is that you might use this time to begin a dialogue about “how to live.” It may seem silly…but think about it…where else are they going to learn?

Ask them what their 90-year old grandfather or grandmother might share with them. Heck…you might learn something!

Feel free to drop a comment to add to the list! Heck…I might learn something!