I love Amazon.com. If the company was an actual human being, they would probably be one of my best friends. First of all, they have all the stuff I love. Books, music, movies, electronics, sporting goods, and even tools! It’s important to share similar interests with your friends and Amazon seems to continue to add items to their inventory that keep me coming back to them for more and more stuff.

Secondly, they pay attention to me. They notice and keep track of what I look at each time I visit. Then, they offer suggestions to new and similar items that they believe might be of interest to me. That is important in a relationship. Everyone wants to feel like they are being noticed and heard. They want to feel like if they are in need of something, then help is only a phone call or in this case, just a click away. I wish more people would try to anticipate what the other might need or want before you actually had to ask for it.

The next thing that is important to me is communication. Amazon lets me know when they have received my order. They send me a brief email to let me know that the order has been processed as well as another email when they believe the order will be ready for shipment. Then I get another email when the package is shipped and a tracking number so I can follow it all the way to my door. Then inside the box, I get a “no hassles” return policy in the event I am not completely happy. I’ve never sent anything back to them because I’ve always been satisfied…maybe it’s the smile on the box that makes me believe that everything is going to be all right.

I’m certain if I communicated like this, I would probably be much more successful, have more friends, and most likely be happier! It’s not that they “over-communicate”, but I never have to wonder about what they are doing or where I stand with my order. It’s one less thing to worry about and that in itself will keep me coming back to Amazon.

The final thing I love about Amazon is that they want my feedback. They want to know if I liked the book I purchased. I get to read all the other reviewer’s comments on products that they have bought as well. This makes me feel like I’m part of a community of friends that are trying to help each other get what we need and want in life…or at least through Amazon.

I’m sure that Amazon is not the only company like this. I have many favorites. American Express, USAA, Nordstrom’s, and even Barnes and Noble are friends of mine they all know how to treat me and I love and appreciate it.

I wonder if any of my friends could say the same thing about me…

 I just returned from a week in Guatemala working with a Medical Mission team. I was cleaning out my pockets and separating the American money from the Guatemalan money I had leftover when I noticed something interesting. All of the American currency has imprinted on it in some location, “In God We Trust”. No big surprise because it is the National Motto of the United States.

But I wondered if we as Americans really believed it. Also, I found it ironic that “In God, We Trust” would be placed on the very thing that we allow to compete with God; our love of money.

So is, “In God We Trust” a true statement?

Trusting means I’ve got to give up control. It also means that what ultimately happens in my future may not be something I’m going to enjoy, prefer or want. Neither of these two realities makes me feel too comfortable. I’m much more comfortable at least “having a say-so” in areas that concern me. So I try to “trust” God in some things and do what I want to in the other things…and then say I’m trusting.

Ouch! That’s tough to admit! It’s also not trusting!

Trust, Money & God. Where do most of us fall?

Do we stay in a job we don’t like because it pays well? Do we stay in a toxic relationship because we don’t feel we can afford to be on our own? Do we buy things when we are depressed that we think will make us happy? Are we generous with our money? When we are faced with a big financial decision, which do we do first, analyze our options, ask other people for advice, or pray? When we hear that soft voice in our hearts telling us to do or not do something…do we follow the prompting or rationalize that we are just talking to ourselves? Do we lay awake at night thinking about God or worrying about money?

So going back to our National Motto…is it true? Can it become true? What might that look like?

To live in this way means that I must live by faith. I must live based on the promises that God has made. Then, I have to make choices with confidence in those promises. My beliefs and my actions must be in sync or, to put it another way…

My life should look like I trust God and His promises, because I do.

Wow…my pocket change has taken on a whole new meaning…!

 I’m already tired of everyone telling me what to do!

We’ve just started the new year and already I’m being bombarded with emails, blogs, mail, and TV segments all telling me how to eat, exercise, and achieve my goals. I’m exhausted!

Last year I made it a point to try and capture every creative thought that I had. I would wake up in the middle of the night on many occasions and jot down thoughts that were bouncing around in my head as I tried to go to sleep. I kept a pad and paper with me at all times. I did capture some cool stuff, but what I learned is that with all my effort in trying to “get more”, I neglected the time that it would take to begin to develop any of the thoughts. I successfully spent a year accumulating a storehouse of potential…that isn’t worth anything at the moment.

So here is what I’m thinking…I’m going to do less this year! I’m going to try to accomplish fewer goals and do fewer projects, but the ones that I do invest in…I’m going to do really well. I’ve committed to only 3 goals this year. I’ll share my first goal here…

Stay Present. Easy enough you might say…but try it…

• How many times have you been in a meeting or speaking with someone and all the while they are checking their phone, texting, or doing something else? They are not present with you.

• How many times have you been driving your car and worrying about anything! Traffic, being late, what you’re going to do or say when you get to your destination, thinking about past events or conversations… You are not present…

• How many times do you worry about the future? Have you ever experienced stress? Stress is nothing more than your preoccupation with an imagined future event!

So, by staying present…you must take what life brings you…

You don’t judge it as good or bad…you just “go with the flow” as they say.

Think about it…the present moment is the only place where we can do anything anyway…so why allow your mind to take you anyplace else!

Like I told some coaching clients last year, “It’s not so much as what you do…it’s more important who you are…when you’re doing what you do.”

Bring all of you to all that you do. Even if you are doing less…you’ll find you’ll be accomplishing more.

Let me know how this works for you!

 Well, it was bound to happen! Late Sunday night, after a busy weekend I was headed to bed exhausted. On my way down the hall, I began undressing, letting the day’s clothing fall to the floor and collapsing into the welcoming embrace of freshly cleaned sheets.

In the middle of the night, I awoke and began to navigate my way in the darkness to the bathroom…not remembering that I had littered the floor with my clothing the evening before. Halfway to the bathroom with lights out of course and trying to remain in that wonderful state of half-sleep…. my feet became entangled with the clothing and …down I went. Luckily, I didn’t kill myself but I easily could have. So much for enjoying the remaining night’s sleep.

That night I thought, “I just about killed myself and there is no one to blame…but me!” I was the one that left the clothes on the floor to trip over! I began to wonder if there were other areas of my life where I might be setting myself up for a fall. I wondered what clues I might look for in order to alert myself where I was laying the groundwork for a future TRIP HAZARD…and I found four of them:

T = “Too”.

Anything in my life that I add the word “too” is a trip hazard. Think about any of the following:

“I work too much, I eat too much, I drink too much, I am too nice, I have too much to do, I’m too busy,” feel free to add the ones that are coming to your mind right now…

These simply mean you are out of balance. Like an engine warning light…you are heading for a painful experience. Use this as an opportunity to address your “too” and take immediate steps to get back in balance!

R = “Replay”.

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Why do we keep having this same conversation or argument over and over again?” Or “Why do I always…?” or “I did it again.” or ” _____ keeps pushing my buttons!”

What you are experiencing is the effect of your “replay” button being pushed. You are connecting with the “emotional baggage” of your past. You need to “re-program” what the situation means to you in a way that will serve you as opposed to working against you. It’s not the other person’s fault…it’s your programming that needs to change!

I = “Insensitivity”.

What this means is that we break the connection between our mind and our heart. It means that we stop allowing things to affect us emotionally. We stop REALLY listening.

How many times have YOU been in conversation and have KNOWN what the other person was going to say? How many times have YOU actually completed the other person’s sentence? How many times have YOU been in conversation with someone when you were actually looking elsewhere?

We need to become a culture that ASKS NEW QUESTIONS and actually listens to the answers…both with our minds and our hearts.

P = “Procrastination”.

Why don’t we do what we want to do? We typically “put off” doing things like: exercise, eating well, having difficult conversations, or doing anything where pain, discomfort, inconvenience, or uncertainty is involved.

As human beings, are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Therefore everything we put off doing is because we believe there is more pain involved in doing the task than in not doing the task. So we avoid it. So what if we actually made NOT doing the task more painful than doing it? I know what you’re thinking…but try it! Take one item you’ve been putting off…and write down all the ways that NOT doing it will be more painful than actually doing it…

Well, I hope these TRIP Hazards brought to mind one or more areas in your life that need to be addressed. If not, great! But if so…then you need to take action on them immediately.

The last thing you want it to have one of them snag you when you least expect it…because they will!

Excuse me…but now I need to go tidy up…

 We all know the story of David and Goliath. Well, I read it again this morning, and as usual…I got something new out of it that I would like to share…

Setting: The Philistine army is encamped on one hill and the army of the Israelites is encamped on an adjacent hill. Each day for 40 days the 9′ tall Philistine, Goliath screams insults, taunts, and challenges anyone from the opposing army to fight him. Whoever loses would become the slave to the winner. Each day, the Israelites…listen and do nothing.

Fast forward: David arrives on the scene. He had brought some food for his older brothers, who are in the Israelite army. While he is there, he hears the insults being shouted by Goliath for the first time. David was ticked off that anyone would be saying these things about the one thing he loved more than anything…his God.

Fast forward, again: David convinces King Saul to let him go out and confront Goliath. David knew that God had proven himself faithful in the past when he had successfully protected his flock from lions and bears. So in David’s mind…what’s the big deal about a 9′ tall giant!

King Saul tries to protect David by allowing him to wear the King’s armor. David tries it on, but he can’t move in it and declines wearing it. David grabs 5 smooth stones and puts them in his pouch and goes to confront the giant.

Goliath and David exchange some “smack talk” and then something really cool happens…

The Bible says, “David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.”

David took the fight to the giant. David relied on a strong offense. He ran towards Goliath as he reached into his pouch, grabbing a stone and launching it from his sling. He didn’t wait. He didn’t plan. He acted. He trusted. He took the fight to Goliath.

Fast forward to today: Many of us are facing our own giants. Many of us are afraid. We are fearful of the unknown. We are fearful of losing our jobs, our retirement, or our future. We may be facing giants of sickness, loss, or disease. We may be being subjected to insults being hurled in our relationships, at our jobs, or even within our own families. We all have giants that are looming over us to some degree. We all know what it is we need to do and want to do…we just don’t…or can’t bring ourselves to do something about it. Like the Israelites, we stand on the hill and listen to the giants in our lives hurl insults at our very character.

Here is what I have learned: Having read the Bible several times, it seems that God blesses a “strong offense” as opposed to a “strong defense”. In case after case, battle after battle, God instructed his chosen ones to “attack the giant” rather than to defend.

Think about yourself, don’t you naturally feel empowered when you take on a challenge, be proactive, make the call, have the conversation, and attack rather than defend? Isn’t it more powerful to run towards our giants rather than to hope they don’t choose to come after you!

How would your life be different if you chose to run towards that which you are most afraid of? Run towards that call or conversation you don’t want to have. Run towards all those situations where giants have been on the hill shouting their insults for far too long.

Like David, we are to use the tools we already have and are comfortable with. We don’t need anything new. We need to trust that we are uniquely gifted to take on the giants in our path. We can do this! It must start with me! We don’t need someone else’s armor.

Also, when we are choosing our weapons…we also need to fill our pouch with smooth stones. We can kill many a giant with a smooth stone.

I hope this little insight makes you feel empowered. We all face Goliaths from time to time…it’s what we choose to do next that makes all the difference in the world.

Just remember…trust…. run towards…and take your shot.

 I had an appointment this week with the dentist. One of the interesting things about growing older is the realization that you are outliving the useful life of some of the components of your body. In this case, it was a crown that I’ve had since the mid-eighties. It was time to have it replaced.

So as I was sitting in the chair all “numbed up” and the dentist had just completed the necessary drilling to remove the old crown and was now wrestling it into submission with what I thought was a pair of pliers. All of a sudden an awful “crack”, much like the sound of a walnut cracking, and out of my mouth comes parts and pieces of my old crown all over my face! The dentist, as well as the hygienist, were surprised and very apologetic and then said, “Close your eyes!” That would have been good information just prior to the incident.

Ironically, I am reading the book by Dr. Henry Cloud called, “9 Things You Simply MUST DO to Succeed in Love and Life”. In it, the author points out why some people’s lives appear to “work” and others just don’t. As luck would have it, the chapter that I happened to be reading at the time was entitled, “Pull the Tooth”. Here is the gist…

Dr. Cloud writes that successful people don’t hang on to bad stuff for long. They get rid of negative energy. He states that negative energy sometimes comes from things that are not innately bad, but simply are not best for the person involved. They are not bad in and of themselves; they just distract you from the deepest desires of your heart and the most important things in life. They take up time, resources, energy, and attention and do not get you where you want to go. So successful people identify them…and get rid of them.

Examples of these might come in the form of relationships that are not going anywhere. Things you are paying for that you’re not using. The time you are spending in areas that are not contributing to your overall well-being. Negative energy might take the form of things that need to be fixed or realizing that they can’t be fixed and then just letting them go.

Once realized and identified, the next step is to get busy either fixing them or dealing with them directly. I know for myself, I can easily spot things in my life that I “need” to deal with…it’s just the act of beginning to deal with it directly that sometimes gets put off. That then becomes an energy drain. It becomes a negative placeholder in my life that is taking up space that something good could be occupying.

So why do we hesitate to take action? Two reasons. Fear and Hope. Fear of someone’s anger or hurt. Fear of someone’s judgment or disapproval. Fear of not having the skills to combat the counterattack or the ability to deal with a confrontation.

We also hold out for hope. Hope that things might change. But this change will not happen without action. This means investing time and energy in working towards a result that you have a solid reason to believe will be achieved. You’ve got to be working on it…not waiting for it.

Dr. Cloud also points out that the best way to fix a problem is not to have one, to begin with. He introduces the reader to what he calls the “Cringe Factor.” It’s that little voice inside that tells you things you need to listen to…but often rationalize away. When that little voice tells you something is wrong…there is usually a reason you feel that way. We all need to get better at listening.

All of this brings me back to me and my tooth. I am currently living with my temporary crown awaiting the delivery of my permanent replacement. I’ve been given instructions on how to care for it until the replacement arrives. Most of the instructions have to do with things I can’t or shouldn’t do. I am in a season of “oral transition” as I like to call it and I have to take “special care” of my temporary tooth for a time.

My life is like that as well. I am in a period of transition. My life is asking new things of me. I am being asked to look at my life and identify anything in it that I’m not happy with, proud of or that is not moving me forward in my life. I am learning to see my life as something I am solely responsible for and all the energy that comes from that life, both positive and negative. It’s up to me…live with it …or change it. Brush the tooth…or pull it.

How about you?