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Having just returned from a successful summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro, I wanted to reflect on a couple of the things that I learned during my trip.

The first is…

“Pole Pole”. (Pronounced Polay Polay) It means “slowly slowly” in Swahili.

This was the first directive that our guide gave us as we began our 6-day trek up the mountain. He constantly reminded us of this very important strategy prior to each stage of the climb and several times throughout each day.

What I learned about this method of climbing was that by taking smaller steps both vertically and horizontally on the climb, I was stronger and much more efficient by the end of the day. I felt great regardless of the terrain or length of the hike. It also gave my body time to adjust to the ever-increasing altitude. I also learned that by adhering to this pace over time, we would overtake many of the other groups that were initially walking much faster than our group.

When I think about it…everything that has lasting value in my life has been made by taking the very same small steps consistently over time. Good relationships are made by making small (seemingly insignificant) gestures consistently over time. Financial stability is also made by making the same small deposits consistently over time.

Big change does not happen overnight…it happens over time.

The other thing that I learned was this…

“All I really need to know is what my next step is.”

This was played out each evening when our guide would enter our tent after dinner and brief us on the next day. He would tell us what time we would wake up, eat and what to pack for the day. That was it. If we were to ask him how long we would hike or what time we would arrive at our camp or any other details about the day…he would just smile and repeat back to us…the time we should wake up, eat, and what to pack.

This “unknowing” just about drove many people in our group insane! They kept asking the same questions each day about what the details of the day would look like and each question would be returned with the same smiling response…

Why do we feel like we need to know all the details at the beginning of everything we do?

Why can’t we just use the information we need and then experience the remaining events?

What I learned about NOT having all this information was that I was less stressed throughout the day. I KNEW what I needed to know and then I was allowed to experience the rest of the day from a fresh perspective. I wasn’t judging my experience against what I thought it would or should be. Every experience was fresh, new, and vibrant. Very cool!

So what if I tried to live my life this way…

Pole Pole

and

only deciding on what my next step is going to be…

Just by my initial thought…I think I would be much more effective, less stressed, happier, and ultimately more successful. It certainly is not the “norm” as accepted by the typical “American culture”…but I’m not so sure I need to know if it will work or not…I just need to begin doing it!

Looks like I’m already learning!

Pole Pole!

Have you ever thought about what you think about?

Are your thoughts taken up with trying to remember all the things you have to do? Or are you playing out conversations in your mind? Are you problem-solving? Or are you re-playing things that have already happened? Have you ever wondered why? Why do think about what you think about?

I am reading the 1902 classic essay by James Allen called, “As a man thinketh”. What an amazing book and it’s free on Google! I believe it is relevant to all of us today as we all try to get more, be more and do more.

Take a moment and let some of my favorite thoughts sink in:

1. Men do not attract what they want, but what they are.

2. A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.

3. Every action and feeling is preceded by a thought.

4. Right thinking begins with the words we say to ourselves.

5. Men are anxious to improve their circumstances but are unwilling to improve themselves and they, therefore, remain bound.

6. Circumstance does not make the man, it reveals him to himself.

7. The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors, that which it loves, and also that which it fears. It reaches the height of its cherished aspirations. It falls to the level of its unchastened desires – and circumstances are the means by which the soul receives its own.

8. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thought, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.

9. As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training, so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking.

10. A man’s mind is like a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed seeds will fall therein and will continue to produce their kind.

As we all attempt to navigate the daily challenges of our lives…I hope that we will be just a little more intentional about what we focus on. Be mindful of what you think about and the thoughts you allow into your mind.

So if it is weeds or seeds…it’s our choice… and that choice…is what we will ultimately become.

Silence is Golden…I wonder where that concept came from?

In our lives these days, silence is a thing that has fallen out of favor for many people. I watch people that may be standing in line or sitting in their car or having any “idle” time at all and guess what they immediately turn to? You guessed it… iPhone or Blackberry or some other type of device. Whatever happened to just standing? Whatever happened to giving yourself the opportunity to let all the dialogue in your life settle to the bottom of your day, much like the little snowflakes in a snow globe?

What ever happened to that time?

I believe it is important for our spirits to have silence. But you might say…”Hey, I pray…or I meditate,” but I don’t think that time is enough. I think our spirits are thirsty for periods of silence and it actually nurtures our spirit when we allow ourselves regular periods of silence.

When some people say, “I don’t even have time to think”, what they really mean is that they have not had the quiet time to just “be”. They have… a great loss to themselves, failed to build silence into their lives.

Our spirituality can survive many setbacks, however, it can hardly survive in an atmosphere devoid of silence.

So my question to all of us is…when?

When will you allow yourself…and your spirit some silence? How about next time your get in the car…turn off the radio. Next time you are standing in line or waiting…try to get comfortable and to be alone with your thoughts. Work on learning to be comfortable in silence.

You might just be amazed at what you hear!

I remember as a kid a phrase that was commonly used after a fight of some kind. A person would say, “He really got the best of him”. Meaning that somebody most likely got his butt kicked. But this is not the context of the question that I’ve been thinking about lately.

My question is literally…who gets the best of you?

Who is it in your life that makes you the “best” you possible? You know the one, the you that you really like…the you that are the happiest, the funniest, the most insightful, the most thoughtful. The you that you are really proud of being. When you are in their company, life seems to flow almost without effort and you routinely feel “filled” by having spent time together. This is what I’m referring to as being “the best of you”.

So who in your life gets it?

Are you surprised by your answer? Is it the one you feel “should” get the best of you? Many people I’ve had this conversation with have responded with answers like my job, my dog or cat, or even…I keep the best of me for myself! What a shame!

So what do you do if you don’t like your answer?

What if you’re not giving the best of you to the person in your life that needs it?

My answer would be that whatever you want in life…give it first and give it consistently and give it without ever thinking you’ll ever get it back.

Give away Love, Encouragement, Support, Understanding…give them away, and don’t expect an acknowledgment, a thank you, a change in attitude or behavior. Just give that which you want. Stay focused only on the giving…because it’s in the giving of ourselves that we become our best.

You’ve only got one “best”…so don’t give it to who deserves it…give it to who needs it.

I recently called my cable company and canceled my cable service. What does that mean? It means that I have no TV. It means no Final Four games, Masters golf coverage, Reality TV, no 24, CSI, Lost, or even ESPN! It also means no reports of random shootings, rainy weather forecasts ruining my weekend plans, infomercials, and commercials for stuff I don’t want or need. Why did I do this?

One word…discipline.

I realized that many of the changes in our lives, either good or bad don’t happen in one significant dramatic action. They happen as small incremental changes over time. They happen little bits at a time.

I remember when I was growing up; our family had a pet dog. Her name was Mandy and she was a beautiful fawn-colored boxer. Mandy loved to be rubbed on her neck but she also knew that she was not allowed on the couch. When I would be sitting on the couch and she was sitting in front of me, I would rub her neck and ever so slowly she would eventually raise one paw and just place it on the couch. Then, even more slowly she would place her weight on that paw and slowly raise up to put her other paw on the couch. Within 5 minutes she would be completely in my lap…. and the odd thing would be…I would let her. However, had she just jumped on the couch…she would have been immediately reprimanded and put back down on the floor. But back to my TV…

Like Mandy, my TV viewing habits had slowly increased over time in a direction and quantity that I did not want. Watching the morning news while enjoying my morning coffee gradually over time became watching an hour of Regis and Kelly! Catching up with the evening news while I ate dinner eventually became TMZ and then a host of bad TV shows. I knew I really had a problem when I was actually recording Oprah and Ellen in the afternoons so I could watch them at night! That’s when I knew I had a drastic problem… and drastic problems require drastic actions and I had to take action. …Goodbye cable.

Discipline comes in many forms. I went to a Military College, so to me, the word itself certainly takes on a meaning of extreme restraint, allowing no fun or enjoyment and even a little bit of pain thrown in for good measure. That type of discipline is not what I’m talking about. On the other extreme, I’ve been told that I’m too disciplined and need to “lighten up” and learn to “dance with life”. So for a year I just went with the flow. I did what I felt like doing and sought enjoyment in all that I did. While it was fun for a while, nothing got accomplished.

So where do we land with this? How can we come to terms with allowing discipline to play a useful and vital role in our lives? How can it be enjoyable?

I think the answer is pretty simple. I think discipline is “the short term application of long term thinking”. To say it another way…it’s doing the things you NEED to do instead of the things you FEEL like doing. I think short-term thought is like junk food. It’s filled with feelings that prompt you to do what is easy, safe, and routine but in the end, does not make you better.

Whereas long-term thought requires just that…thought. It requires planning, steps, reasoning, and intentional actions that are in alignment with a predetermined pattern and a specified outcome. Long-term thought makes you grow.

Ok…now that I know what it is…what do I do…?

Ask yourself, “Is the behavior I’m currently exhibiting something I will be proud of a year from now”?

If the answer is no…change it.

Figure out what you want, what you need to do, and begin. Don’t wait. Do it today…do it in the next hour…in fact…stop reading this and do it in the next 5 minutes!

We need to ACT our way into feeling rather than FEEL our way into acting. Do what you need to do…then your feelings will follow. Don’t wait on “feeling like doing something” in order to act.

And by the way…get your paw off the couch…!

Well, it’s approaching tax time and for many of us, it is a reminder that we are not as organized as we would like to be. If that is you, I’ve got a very simple method of organizing your paperwork.

Here is all you need to start:

1. 1 – green file folder.
2. 1 – yellow file folder.
3. 1 – red file folder.
4. A stack of post-it notes.

Here is the process:

1. The GREEN folder is the ACTIVE folder. ALL items that need to be acted upon start here. Each time you get a piece of paper, bill, or document you write on the post-it note what the NEXT action needs to be for that document. Then it goes into the green folder. Make it your goal to try to stay on top of this folder.
2. The YELLOW folder is the PENDING or WAITING folder. For instance, if you need to have someone else sign or review a document before you can complete the task, make a copy of the document first and put a post-it on the document and write the date and the person you gave it to for the next action. Then at least once a week, go through your yellow file and follow up with all the people. Also, write on the same post-it that you followed up on that date. All documents stay in the yellow folder until they are returned to you. Then you write the next action on them and either place them back in the green folder for further processing or place them in the red folder.
3. The RED folder is the TO BE FILED folder. Documents, where no further action can be taken, go here. Write on a post-it where to file the document. (I have found that the easiest way to file is simply by company name.) Then once a week, set aside a time to empty your red folder and simply file the documents where you’ve already decided!

That’s it! Pretty simple, huh?

I googled “Leadership” today and got 136 million hits. Then, I googled “Followership” and not surprisingly, got 155 thousand hits. That’s 877 times more Leadership sites than Followership sites. What does that tell you about the importance we place on being a leader over a follower?

But in reality, what’s a leader without someone to follow him or her? Probably… lonely.

I started thinking about how much it takes to be a good follower, especially the “first-follower”. The first-the follower is probably the most important aspect of any leadership movement. First-followers have to make themselves very vulnerable because it’s only the leader and themselves. If the leader is an idiot…that’s the leader’s problem…but if they are following an idiot, then that makes them…well…worse!

First-followers have to trust in what the leader is trying to accomplish and they must believe that it is a cause worthy of sacrifice. Followers must put aside their own agenda and they must become the energy and passion of another person’s dream or vision. First-followers must also passionately share the attributes of the leader and the vision to attract other followers.

Followers need to see three things in their Leader:

They must see that the Leader is:

1. Committed to an outcome.
2. Committed to the people.
3. Committed to the journey.

If any one of the three is absent, the Leader will not be successful.

So, what is my takeaway from all of this thought?

Well, I believe we are all simultaneously Leaders and Followers. However, we tend to not think of ourselves as being subject to anyone else and don’t like to think of ourselves as Followers…but we really are. Leaders are viewed as “the person at the top” and the person that others have to respond to. However, regardless of our position in life, our title, or our role, we all are required to serve the needs of someone else. Whether it’s our children, our spouses, our employees, stockholders, or constituents…we all answer to someone.

I look to the Bible and wonder…which one was Jesus? A Leader or a Follower? He certainly had Followers. But he himself said that he was only doing the work of his father…so that would make him a Follower. And if Jesus is ok with being a Follower…then that’s good enough for me as well.

I think Jesus would agree that serving another person is the highest and best use of our time here on earth. So the question then becomes who serves whom? Do Leaders serve the Followers or do Followers serve the Leaders?

I wish more emphasis on Leadership training these days were placed on the proper perspective of serving.

I remember, as a kid, we would always play follow the Leader… never lead the Follower.

Maybe the world would be a little better if we had.

 Here I am again. In the same place that I have found myself so many times before. Frustrated. Mad at myself. Working without a plan. Knowing I could and should be doing more and not doing it. This place has become all too familiar…and I hate it.

A friend of mine once asked me a question. He said, “what has worked so well for you in the past…that you stopped doing it?”

When I think about it. I’ve had spurts of “greatness” in the past. I’ve started workout programs that made me feel and look great. I’ve started time management systems that had me accomplishing everything I set my mind to do. I’ve created lists, goals summaries, life plans, action plans and systems that all worked. Then something happened…and I stopped.

It wasn’t as if an event happened that “made” me stop…it was just “something” that interrupted my routine. It could have been that I had to travel out of town or even attend a meeting or event that interrupted my “flow”. But after that interruption…getting back in the flow would eventually never happen.

I call this the “Wiley E. Coyote Principle”. Remember back in the cartoon days, Wiley E. Coyote would dream up thousands of ways to apprehend the elusive Road Runner? Each time, some random event took place that rendered his attempt unsuccessful. After each failed attempt, we were left watching the face of Wiley E. Coyote either shrink into nothingness as he fell off a cliff or we watched him raise that little umbrella as he accepted the fate of the huge rock about to crash on his head.

In each case, he rarely tried to do the same thing twice. He rarely committed to a plan and regardless of the failed attempts, continued to trust that his system was good and appropriate and regardless of the immediate outcome, was worthy of continuing. He would abandon it and try something else.

I think it’s time to go back and look at my life and identify “what worked”. What attitudes worked, nutrition plans, workout plans, time management systems, what I did that made me feel good and say to myself, “good job Bob”. Those things are worthy of being identified and certainly worthy of my pursuit and incorporation into my life.

I need to just write those things down and be mindful of them. I don’t have to do everything at once, just commit to one and bring it back into my life.

How about you? What has worked so well in the past…that YOU stopped doing it?

Beep, Beep!

 I love Amazon.com. If the company was an actual human being, they would probably be one of my best friends. First of all, they have all the stuff I love. Books, music, movies, electronics, sporting goods, and even tools! It’s important to share similar interests with your friends and Amazon seems to continue to add items to their inventory that keep me coming back to them for more and more stuff.

Secondly, they pay attention to me. They notice and keep track of what I look at each time I visit. Then, they offer suggestions to new and similar items that they believe might be of interest to me. That is important in a relationship. Everyone wants to feel like they are being noticed and heard. They want to feel like if they are in need of something, then help is only a phone call or in this case, just a click away. I wish more people would try to anticipate what the other might need or want before you actually had to ask for it.

The next thing that is important to me is communication. Amazon lets me know when they have received my order. They send me a brief email to let me know that the order has been processed as well as another email when they believe the order will be ready for shipment. Then I get another email when the package is shipped and a tracking number so I can follow it all the way to my door. Then inside the box, I get a “no hassles” return policy in the event I am not completely happy. I’ve never sent anything back to them because I’ve always been satisfied…maybe it’s the smile on the box that makes me believe that everything is going to be all right.

I’m certain if I communicated like this, I would probably be much more successful, have more friends, and most likely be happier! It’s not that they “over-communicate”, but I never have to wonder about what they are doing or where I stand with my order. It’s one less thing to worry about and that in itself will keep me coming back to Amazon.

The final thing I love about Amazon is that they want my feedback. They want to know if I liked the book I purchased. I get to read all the other reviewer’s comments on products that they have bought as well. This makes me feel like I’m part of a community of friends that are trying to help each other get what we need and want in life…or at least through Amazon.

I’m sure that Amazon is not the only company like this. I have many favorites. American Express, USAA, Nordstrom’s, and even Barnes and Noble are friends of mine they all know how to treat me and I love and appreciate it.

I wonder if any of my friends could say the same thing about me…

 I just returned from a week in Guatemala working with a Medical Mission team. I was cleaning out my pockets and separating the American money from the Guatemalan money I had leftover when I noticed something interesting. All of the American currency has imprinted on it in some location, “In God We Trust”. No big surprise because it is the National Motto of the United States.

But I wondered if we as Americans really believed it. Also, I found it ironic that “In God, We Trust” would be placed on the very thing that we allow to compete with God; our love of money.

So is, “In God We Trust” a true statement?

Trusting means I’ve got to give up control. It also means that what ultimately happens in my future may not be something I’m going to enjoy, prefer or want. Neither of these two realities makes me feel too comfortable. I’m much more comfortable at least “having a say-so” in areas that concern me. So I try to “trust” God in some things and do what I want to in the other things…and then say I’m trusting.

Ouch! That’s tough to admit! It’s also not trusting!

Trust, Money & God. Where do most of us fall?

Do we stay in a job we don’t like because it pays well? Do we stay in a toxic relationship because we don’t feel we can afford to be on our own? Do we buy things when we are depressed that we think will make us happy? Are we generous with our money? When we are faced with a big financial decision, which do we do first, analyze our options, ask other people for advice, or pray? When we hear that soft voice in our hearts telling us to do or not do something…do we follow the prompting or rationalize that we are just talking to ourselves? Do we lay awake at night thinking about God or worrying about money?

So going back to our National Motto…is it true? Can it become true? What might that look like?

To live in this way means that I must live by faith. I must live based on the promises that God has made. Then, I have to make choices with confidence in those promises. My beliefs and my actions must be in sync or, to put it another way…

My life should look like I trust God and His promises, because I do.

Wow…my pocket change has taken on a whole new meaning…!