Category: Reflection

When one thinks about a unit of currency, for instance, a dollar bill…the value of the bill does not rest in the printed paper itself, but what it represents to others. The value of that piece of paper is a shared belief and agreement between everyone that comes in contact with it. Simple right?

But is it the same for something else we share with others…our words… Are they worth the same to both parties? Even the words we say to ourselves…do we choose those words with equal care?

I ran across a story a year or so ago about a young man that honored his recently deceased father at the father’s funeral. In giving the eulogy, the son remarked, “My father was an average man. He was no war hero. He never wrote a book. He never ran marathons. He was a pharmacist. No recognition. No fame. But for everything that made my father “average” and “every day,” there was one thing he did exceptionally well. He kept his promises. My father was a man of his word.”

The son later printed out what he referred to as “promise cards” to help remind people of the importance of keeping commitments. This simple act turned into a movement that has changed the lives of people all over the world!

The idea was simple…write on the card what you wanted and then…keep your commitment!

If you say it…you do it!

How different our lives would be if we just did this one thing! Keeping our commitments to ourselves and to everyone else.

Do what you say…

Wouldn’t you value someone that consistently did that? Even if it were you?

Now seems like a perfect time to start…

I was tying my boots up this morning like I usually do and I noticed that once again, there was one section of the lace that was wearing significantly and was ready to break. This is frustrating to me because they always wear out in one place… on one lace… and then I have to throw them both out.

I would go through a pair of bootlaces about every 3 months. So I got frustrated and specifically went on Amazon and ordered these high-tech boot laces (made of something like Kevlar or something ) and they were supposed to be extremely strong and last much longer than any others…well not so much…

I started thinking…are these laces trying to tell me something?

I’ve got identical laces that are 54″ long. Each lace is threaded through similar holes and is subjected to similar stresses, yet only one spot on one lace has routinely experienced significant wear.

I see this frayed spot on the lace every time I put on my boots. And each time, I silently ask it to hold on…one more day… The funny thing about frayed laces is this. Once you get them laced up…the frayed area of the lace gets hidden! To the outside world…nobody can tell that I’m just a few strands away from a “boot blowout.”

Is this like my life?

Could I have one area in my life that is wearing significantly despite the health of everything else? Are my boot laces trying to alert me to the fact that I need to do some personal assessments to check the relative health of all the different aspects of myself?

I think so. I think it is also true of most of us…we don’t have to dig too deep into our self-analysis to find an area of our lives that need some attention and repair. Left untreated…we all just maybe a few strands away from a blowout…

As my favorite pastor, Andy Stanley says, “Pay attention to the tension.”

Living in Florida requires me to learn about hurricanes. As many of us know, a hurricane in the Northern Hemisphere rotates in a counterclockwise direction. Also, if one was to look down on the hurricane from above, the area of the hurricane (traveling North) that can potentially do the most damage is the Northeastern quadrant. Here the winds are at their highest and most destructive as we all saw with Hurricane Irma.

Now let’s change gears a bit and look at our life. My Guatemalan friend, Oscar Garcia shared with me his view of life in a simple diagram and I have taken his idea and added to it.

Here ya go:

Our lives are divided up into four main quadrants. And let’s say for example that we believe we will live to be 100 years old. So, the first quadrant encompasses years 0 to 25 years of age. The second quadrant is from 25 to 50 years of age. The third quadrant is from 50 to 75 years of age and the fourth quadrant is from 75 to 100 years of age.

Each quadrant is characterized by a primary focus that people in that quadrant are striving to achieve. For instance, those people in quadrant one (age 0 to 25) are focused primarily on Learning. From learning to walk, years spent in school pursuing a degree and also learning about life and the skills needed for living. That is the focus of Quadrant one.

Quadrant two people (25 to 50) are primarily focused on Earning. People in this age quadrant have completed the majority of their schooling and are putting that knowledge to use in the workplace making money. This is the group that also begins to use their earnings to buy stuff like homes, cars as well as investing and saving. Earning money is the primary focus of people in this group.

I’ll come back to Quadrant three…

Quadrant four people (75 to 100) are Returning. They have lived a full life (good and bad) and are focused on returning their knowledge, their time, their assets to those they love and causes they care about. They value giving back and giving of themselves. These and the people of Quadrant four.

Now for the Quadrant three people. These people, (50 – 75 assuming the person lives to be 100) are potentially the most damaging…to themselves and potentially to others. The primary focus of people in this group is Yearning. They are in a season of reflection. They are looking at their lives with “new eyes” and beginning to deal with new challenges that many resist. They are beginning to experience the aches and pains of their aging bodies. They are beginning to suffer relationally as couples experience the “empty nest syndrome.” They are beginning to experience a workplace where they are no longer relevant and valuable. They are beginning to reap the rewards of good financial management or suffer the pains and anxiety of bad financial decisions from earlier years. The view ahead is sometimes overshadowed by a longing to go back and change the decisions they made years before. This is the primary focus of people in Quadrant three, the yearning to go back and have a “do over.” This is why this period has the potential to be so damaging.

So what is one to do?

First, is to realize that all people must go through all four quadrants. Don’t get hung up on the age ranges, they will change, but instead, try to understand and embrace the quadrant that you are in and try to make the most of it.

So if you are in Quadrant one. My advice to you is to learn! Learn everything you can learn about utilizing all of your skills and talents. Don’t waste these years! Go as far as you can go scholastically and immerse yourself in learning. Begin to explore ways people will pay for the knowledge and skills you naturally possess. Don’t worry about making mistakes! Make many of them now and learn from all of them!

Quadrant two people need to have a plan. Make sure your plan involves discipline. You are in your prime earning years and without discipline, our culture will rob you of your future and your finances by appealing to your short term desires! Find ways of investing your earnings. Millionaires are made by investments, not by savings!

Quadrant three people need to focus. They can’t change their past…but they still have time to impact their future. They need to accept where they might be in life and focus on what their next step needs to be. They need to make “smart choices” in all areas of life. They need to invest in things that will provide for them long term. That can range from investments to relationships and the community involvement. Take off the mask and let other’s see the real you.

Quadrant four people need to share. Share time. Share knowledge. Spend time with those you love. Share yourself and make it a point not to leave any question unanswered or conversation un-had. Ask good questions of those you love. Have meaningful conversations. Make it a point to make each moment of every day count.

You see, I’m currently living in Quadrant three. It’s tough. It seems like every day I’m trying to play catch up…or trying to keep up! But I’m determined not to give up. Tough is fine for now…giving up or giving in is not an option. Quadrant three “can be destructive.” It’s where the strongest winds are. These winds can do damage if you get in their way and are not prepared, or they can propel you forward…if you are correctly positioned and prepared.

Yep, hurricanes have taught me a lot recently. I certainly respect them and am aware of the damage they can do. But if you have a plan and take action at the appropriate time, chances are you’ll come out just fine…even if you’re on the Northeastern quadrant.

Each morning at dawn you’ll find me in my kayak on Tampa Bay. For me, it has become part exercise…part church. It’s a place where I can silence my mind and just listen to the rhythmic sound of my paddles quietly entering the water with each stroke. Beginning each day on the water brings with it new surprises. Some days the water is like glass…perfectly quiet and smooth. Some days the winds create a slight chop in the water which makes paddling a bit more challenging. Also, as I navigate out of my neighborhood and into the open bay, I am sometimes met with different water conditions based on the intensity and direction of the wind. Like life, changing conditions are around every corner.

What I’ve also come to learn from my early morning kayaking is how deceptive a cross-current is. It’s one of those currents that approach my kayak not straight on or from behind…but at an angle. Those are difficult because when I look at the chopping waves of the cross current approaching my kayak, I can get disoriented from the direction I am trying to paddle and my kayak ends up moving in the direction the current is moving…rather than remaining true to my intended heading. It literally makes me dizzy if I look at it!

So, what I’ve learned to do is to ignore the current entirely… and instead, pick a single point on the shoreline to paddle towards. Single point of focus. This way I can maintain my heading…

Hmmm…that sounds like good life advice as well!

All too often, we find ourselves going through life and without thinking about it, we find a “cultural cross current” acting on us. Unlike the currents that hit you head on (which we can all deal with)…or power you from behind (which we all love), these currents are deceptive. They are sneaky and are constantly trying to divert you from your intended heading.

So what if you don’t have a heading?

That is a problem… Without a single point of focus off in the distance to move toward, you’ll most likely soon find yourself way off course! Why? Because that’s what the “cultural cross current” wants. It wants to take you off course…even it has no real place to take you to…it just wants to interrupt your heading.

I have seen this play out in real life all too often. Many people I know have been taken off course by a variety of “cultural cross-currents” pulling them away from their path. They are so common to us, we barely recognize them, so let me list a few just so you know where to spot them:

• Most TV shows
• TV Commercials of all types
• Music
• Movies
• The News
• Drugs and Alcohol
• Some friends…and even some family
• Social Media and cell phones in general.

Currents are a fact of life and when you’re on the water…currents are a part of the environment. We can’t fight them…but we also can’t (and shouldn’t) ignore them and their potential impact and influence on our heading.

Pick a spot out on your horizon…and row steadily towards it…and most likely…you’ll be fine.