Category: Learning

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Weeds…

There used to be an infomercial on TV that was made famous by Ron Popeil regarding a little rotisserie oven… He would say, “Set it and forget it!” That is all that would be required. Put the food in, set the timer and it would be perfectly cooked when the timer went off.

Unfortunately, there is little in life that we can expect to come out perfectly without at least some type of maintenance and work. In fact, I would say there is nothing in life that you can truly “set it and forget it!”

We all have multiple aspects of our lives that we try to maintain. Work demands, family needs, relationships, physical responsibilities, spiritual needs as well as the things outside of ourselves, home maintenance, car, finances, and the list goes on and on. Think about all the things, both internal and external that require some aspect of your time and attention. It’s a daunting thought! The question then becomes…how are you doing?

When areas of your life get ignored, expect weeds. Nobody wants a life full of weeds because over time they just get worse and worse. If weeds remain too long, things begin to deteriorate. Weeds don’t go away by themselves. Their removal requires diligence, focus, and effort and we usually get a little dirty during the process. If you’re like me, weeding wears me out. I’m physically sore and exhausted after weeding.

Life is no different. The only way to keep weeds out of your life is to regularly spend the time to remove them in their earliest stages. The effort is minimal, but yet still required. It is relatively painless but still requires diligence, focus, and at least some degree of effort.

Every so often I make a list of everything I am responsible for. Then I ask myself, “How am I doing in that area?” This exercise always results in several areas in my life I have either neglected entirely or need immediate attention. Then I try to keep this list in front of me for a time so I’m aware of areas I need to maintain.

Unfortunately, having a perfectly manicured life is only a temporary state. Weeds can and will return. However, it is worth those brief moments when you can step back and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Stay on top of your life. Ron Popeil’s tagline should have been, “Set it and forget it….will make you regret it!”

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People Days vs. Paper Days

Navigating the Rhythms of Productivity

In the intricate dance of daily life, we often find ourselves swaying between two distinct types of days: People Days and Paper Days. These simple concepts offer profound insights into how we can align with the day’s demands and optimize our productivity. So, let’s dive into the heart of these days and explore how embracing their rhythm can lead to a more fulfilling and less stressful life.

People Days: The Art of Connection

People Days form the heartbeat of our social existence. Picture this: our calendars are sprinkled with meetings, our phones buzz with calls, and our inboxes overflow with messages that crave a personal touch. On these days, we invest in relationships—whether it’s networking with colleagues, catching up with old friends, or nurturing family bonds. It’s a time for collaboration, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

The magic of People Days lies in their ability to foster connections—the very bedrock of personal fulfillment and professional success. By surrendering to the flow of People Days, we unlock opportunities and find joy in human interaction.

Paper Days: The Discipline of Doing

Now, let’s flip the coin. Paper Days are when we turn inward, focusing on solitary tasks that demand our undivided attention. These are the days for deep work—where we immerse ourselves in reports, strategize over documents, or lose track of time in the creative process. Picture a hands-on approach to the tasks at hand, whether it’s literal paperwork or the metaphorical “paperwork” of life’s chores and responsibilities.

Embracing Paper Days means honoring the need for uninterrupted focus. It’s about creating a productivity sanctuary where we can tackle the work that propels us toward our goals.

The Wisdom of Going with the Day’s Flow

Recognizing whether today is a People Day or a Paper Day is an exercise in mindfulness. It’s about tuning in to the day’s natural rhythm and adjusting our sails accordingly. So, go ahead—dance with the ebb and flow, connect with others, and dive deep into your tasks. After all, life’s symphony is composed of both the lively beats and the quiet notes.

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Noise…

Growing up as a kid, my favorite cartoon was “Rock-a-Bye Bear”…

Quiet…I want Quiet!

These days, it seems like everyone has something to say. Everyone has a belief or opinion. But if everyone is talking, who is listening? Unfortunately, no one.

Everyone has a voice…but how often and when you use it is up to you.

How do you know?

God gave us one mouth, but he also gave us two ears. So that makes it pretty clear to me that the way we were made was to use what we were given in the proper ratio:

1/3 talking, 2/3’s listening

Sound good?

You don’t have to answer…I enjoy the silence!

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Smile…!

Maggie…

As they say, when one door closes, another one opens…and it sure did.

Several weeks after we lost Finn, our 13-year-old poodle, we welcomed into our family Maggie, a 10-year-old Goldendoodle rescue. To say she is a sweetheart is a dramatic understatement, but with all that goodness comes 10 years of baggage that we are seeing glimpses of each day. We were told by her foster parents, that she needed to be “socialized” because she gets really anxious around new people and other animals. We immediately saw that and we have since been adding to that list…cars, trucks, bicycles, noises on TV, and leaves that blow in the wind to name a few… but nonetheless…we love her and all her baggage…God knows we have enough baggage for her as well.

So in an effort to help her cope with those things that have been a negative impact on her previous 10 years of life, we decided to enroll her in a doggy training academy. Each day I take Maggie to doggy daycare where trainers try to help her unlearn some bad behaviors and teach her some new behaviors as well. She’s been great about it all and I can really start to see some progress…but we have a long road ahead.

As part of our enrollment into the academy, they gave us a book to read about dog training, it’s called “Smile!” by Lynne Swanson, DVM. One of the initial chapters of the book really impacted me and I’ll share it below:

“Whether or not anyone is watching, please look up from the book and smile. Even if you don’t feel like smiling, do it anyway. Allow yourself an honest, up-to-your-eyes, laugh-line-creating, smile. I’ll wait.

Did you notice the relaxed breath that followed your smile? Smiles trigger them. Do you notice reduced tension in your shoulders and neck? Perhaps less stiffness in your posture? Smiles help there, too. Smiles are very powerful. If a stranger smiles at you from across the room, you tend to smile back, don’t you? You may even feel in the moment, happier about yourself and a bit more trusting of others.

That is how dogs feel when people offer genuine smiles. Smiles convey a heck of a lot more than words do, and what our facial muscles do to all our other muscles when we smile says volumes about us when we communicate with nonverbal species. As a pretty darn verbal species, we tend to forget that.”

The chapter goes on to say that the author rewards her dogs with only sincere, relaxed smiles. No dog biscuits, no “good dogs” or baby talk…smiles relax dogs and lower their energy level and they are always with you, unlike biscuits or treats.

Since reading this, I’ve made a conscious effort to smile more…way more!

I’m not much of a natural “smile person” and often think of my smile as that look I had the first time I ate broccoli. Not a good look. Regardless, I’ve been smiling and it seems to work! On Maggie and also on ME! I can give Maggie a big smile and immediately I’m in a different state of mind. No longer am I thinking about all the tasks that need to be accomplished that day or who or what had “ticked me off” in some way…but I really think I’m a better version of ME! All by smiling at my dog! Who knew!?

Looks like Maggie isn’t the only one going to school these days…!

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Closed vs. Open-handed living

Years ago, I was getting a massage. There I was lying on my stomach with my arms down to my sides as the masseuse worked on a pinched nerve in my lower back. I remember her saying, “why are your hands closed, you’re supposed to be relaxing?” I didn’t even realize it! Since that time, I’ve often caught myself “relaxing” with closed or clinched hands! This says a lot about what I sometimes struggle with. Let me explain…

Clinch your hand. Look at it… What does that feel like? Closed-handed living is not good…for you or others. When your hands are closed, you’re more tense and tight. Most likely, you’re closed off from others. You’re giving off that “leave me alone vibe.” Closed-handed living leads one to try to control situations…because they fear losing control. The ironic thing is, that they are losing control of the very thing they are trying to protect! Closed-handed living limits generosity, light-heartedness, and ultimately happiness! Closed-handed living makes you fear being exposed, seen, or scrutinized…it makes you live a small life…

On the flipside, open your hand! You don’t have to stretch it out, just soften it and allow it to open. Look at it and feel what that feels like. Feel as if you’re allowing a baby bird to sit in your palm.

Open-handed living allows people to be more relaxed, happy, and comfortable with themselves and their environment. It allows one to be generous, transparent, and have a healthy view of themselves and their life. Open-handed people tend to be humorous “go with the flow” types of people. Open-handed living attracts people. Open-handed living makes you smile a lot and you’re most likely healthier. Open-handed living may make you a bit more vulnerable, but living openly allows you to feel and sense things better than closed-handed living. Good things usually happen to people that live open-handed.

I know that I sometimes struggle between the two. On my own, I would probably be more close-handed than I would like to admit…but I know it’s not good for me and I intentionally work on being more open-handed…but it’s not natural…yet. I would love to live my life naturally more open-handed and I’m going to keep working on it. It’s certainly worth the effort. Who knows… one day I might be lying on my stomach getting a massage and I’ll hear the masseuse commenting, “Wow, you’re really relaxed!” That would be a good day.

It’s certainly something to aspire to!

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Falling Forward…

Life…

My Mom sent me this photo out of the blue…

Although I don’t remember it or the circumstances around my mishap, I do notice a couple of things:

  1. No protective gear. No helmet, no elbow guard…nothing to protect me from the abrasive surface of the concrete sidewalk I encountered.
  2. No help. As I lay on the ground after my fall, my loving parents chose to snap a photo rather than to run to my rescue.
  3. No crying. As you can see from my face, the fall was certainly not planned, but it was also completely under my control…I did it…I fell…

So what can I learn from this “ancient” photo of just one of the many random days of a child learning to live in this world…?

I think I first have to acknowledge that we all fall. We all fail. The difference is, some of us fall back and others of us fall forward.

We’ve all met people that fall back. First, they try to hide it. Then they try to place the blame on someone or something else. They are also clearly not at peace about it. Just talking about the incident whether it was yesterday or 30 years ago will unleash a torrent of emotions that surround the incident. Falling back is not healthy.

So what is falling forward?

Falling forward the act of using the incident to get better. It’s being better for having fallen. It’s learning to take the pain and grow from it into a much stronger and healthier you.

Falling forward I believe requires 4 primary steps.

  1. Reflect. We have to stop and think about what happened. We have to be objective about it and see it as a reporter would report the incident if they witnessed it.
  2. Own it. Regardless of what happened, we have to claim our responsibility in the event. We have to clearly see what we did and how it contributed to our fall…as painful as it might be.
  3. Course correct. We have to learn from it. We have to commit to a change in future behavior if we ever find ourselves in a similar situation.
  4. Be kind. We have to be kind to ourselves. We’ve had enough pain, we don’t need to invent more pain to inflict on ourselves. We also have to be kind to others. We can’t retreat or withdraw. Isolation does not make anything better…exposure usually does. Get back out there!

So there you have it…all of that from one random photo.

I have fallen thousands of times since that day. Many have produced significant amounts of pain for me and others…yet I’ve always tried to fall forward. Falling forward has given me a rich and deep life to reflect upon and I wouldn’t trade any of it…regardless of the pain. I’m a better man for it.

Falling is not failing. It’s a part of life…and a good one if you fall forward.

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One coin…two sides…

We all want to have the freedom to believe what we want…and to do what we want…but when things don’t work out the way we want…we get upset and usually (especially lately) we look for someone else to blame.

Blame is everywhere! It’s always the first thing people reach for. It’s become our “go-to” action to justify our pain or unhappiness that is a result of actions that we most likely took or failed to take. And the funny thing is…once we have found someone or something to place the blame on…it rarely, if ever removes our pain…and many times…it only enhances it! So why do we do it? Why do we think blame is a viable option for pain relief?

I think it’s because blame is easy. It requires no new action on our part. It requires no discipline. It requires no risk. It’s safe…and it’s ineffective.

You see, I believe Actions and Consequences are two sides of the same coin. You take an action…you get a consequence.

Let’s take a look at the actual word…

“Consequence” = Con + Sequence

We all know that Con means Against. And we all know that a Sequence is a particular order in which related events, movements, or things are expected to follow each other.

So when we put that understanding together…it basically means that a “consequence” is an outcome from an action that is opposite of what is expected! No wonder people don’t want to accept the consequences of their actions!

It’s not was expected! It’s not what we wanted! So we’re not going to accept it! We’re going to blame (or transfer) the consequences of our actions of someone else! But we can’t…because it’s the same coin. Actions and Consequences are permanently bonded together!

Pleasurable undisciplined actions most always result in unpleasurable consequences.

But the flipside is also true…

If you want pleasurable consequences…you need to take unpleasurable disciplined actions!

Life ain’t easy…it was never designed to be…

Two sides…one coin…

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…Guest contributor…

Bob has allowed me to write a bit on his blog.

It’s odd that he would make such a choice due to the decline of our relationship over the past few years. Yes, Bob and I go back a very long time. He and I have been together since he was a kid. I was friends with all of his high school friends and especially all of his college friends! We got together just about every weekend during that time. We use to spend every holiday together and as he grew older, we even traveled together. We rarely went a week without seeing each other. I miss Bob…but evidently…he doesn’t miss me…go figure…after all we’ve been through.

That’s ok. I still hang out with lots of Bob’s friends and even some of his family. They love me and so do millions of other people! Heck, I’m on TV all the time, I’m in the movies, I’m in just about every magazine. Yep, I’m pretty popular with just about everyone and its been that way long before I knew Bob.

So if Bob doesn’t want me in his life anymore…tough…I’m just going to involve myself in the lives of all those people around him. He can’t get rid of me that easy! I won’t allow it. I don’t understand why he wants me out of his life…

Maybe it’s because of my reputation…

You see, people that hang out with me…well…frankly speaking…their lives pretty much get worse. I don’t know why (not really)…but they do. I’m always there for those that love me (and even some that don’t). I’m there when people are celebrating and when they are lonely. I’m there when people are pursuing the love of their life and when they have found the love of their life. I’m there when people are worried and even when they drag themselves home after a long day. I’m always making myself available, yet…when things go bad… I’m usually to blame. But get this…even when things got worse…guess who the first person people would call…you got it…me.

Well, I’ll just be patient. I like Bob…even if he hates me. I’ll wait him out…he’ll come back around…they usually do. In the meantime, there are plenty of people that like me and want to hang out with me…regardless of my reputation. I’ll always be around…

Cheers!

Mr. Al C. Hall

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The Currency of Words…

When one thinks about a unit of currency, for instance, a dollar bill…the value of the bill does not rest in the printed paper itself, but what it represents to others. The value of that piece of paper is a shared belief and agreement between everyone that comes in contact with it. Simple right?

But is it the same for something else we share with others…our words… Are they worth the same to both parties? Even the words we say to ourselves…do we choose those words with equal care?

I ran across a story a year or so ago about a young man that honored his recently deceased father at the father’s funeral. In giving the eulogy, the son remarked, “My father was an average man. He was no war hero. He never wrote a book. He never ran marathons. He was a pharmacist. No recognition. No fame. But for everything that made my father “average” and “every day,” there was one thing he did exceptionally well. He kept his promises. My father was a man of his word.”

The son later printed out what he referred to as “promise cards” to help remind people of the importance of keeping commitments. This simple act turned into a movement that has changed the lives of people all over the world!

The idea was simple…write on the card what you wanted and then…keep your commitment!

If you say it…you do it!

How different our lives would be if we just did this one thing! Keeping our commitments to ourselves and to everyone else.

Do what you say…

Wouldn’t you value someone that consistently did that? Even if it were you?

Now seems like a perfect time to start…

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Happiness…a lagging indicator…

I am so tired of hearing people say, “I just want to be happy!”

Whether they are struggling in a relationship or a difficult job or situation, the plea is always the same…if this one thing would just change, everything would be better and then they would be happy.

So why is it so difficult for some people to be happy?

I believe it’s because they are focusing on happiness (the end result) and not the actions that must precede it to be happy!

Happiness is not a destination. It is the result of consistent actions that you took that resulted in you being happy. No action… equals…no happy. You must take an action.

Happiness is the lingering fragrance of an action that you have taken…and sometimes that fragrance may take some time before you notice it…but take heart…you will…if you continue to take action.

Love the consistent actions you take and happiness will find you…guaranteed.