When I lived in Antigua, Guatemala, I loved taking photos of doors. Every walk through the city’s cobblestone streets felt like a gallery tour—brightly painted frames, weathered wood, ironwork patterns, and colors that seemed to hold centuries of stories. Each door was unique, and each one invited me to wonder: what’s behind it?
Doors aren’t just functional. They’re symbolic.
A closed door sparks curiosity. Opening it feels like stepping into possibility.
At the same time, shutting a door can mark the end of a chapter—a relationship, a season, or even a way of life.
That duality is what makes doors so powerful. They’re thresholds, both literal and metaphorical.
Think about the last time you walked past a house. Where did your eyes go first? The door.
The design, color, and condition of a door often reveal more about the people inside than any other detail.
Doors aren’t just seen—they’re experienced.
A solid door carries meaning, grounding us with its presence.
A door that opens smoothly reflects care and attention; one that creaks tells another story.
The click of a secure latch reassures us. A knock announces a visitor—sometimes urgent, sometimes familiar, sometimes unexpected.
These small details shape how we feel about safety, welcome, and belonging.
Next time you step out to run errands or return home after a long day, pause for a moment. Notice your door—the way it looks, feels, and sounds. It’s been quietly doing more than you think…
As I sit in this season of Thanksgiving, I find myself reflecting back on a recent post I wrote entitled “Gaps.” In that post, I shared about the spaces left in my life by the loss of people and pets who meant so much to me—those who shaped me, loved me, and influenced me in ways I’ll never forget. Those gaps are real, and they carry with them a weight of pain. Yet, as the holiday season approaches, I’ve realized something equally powerful: I am deeply grateful for the fact that those gaps exist at all. They are evidence of love, of connection, of lives intertwined with mine.
I’ve thought often about the people who stepped into my life and left such an impact. Their presence was a gift, and even though their absence hurts, I wouldn’t trade the gratitude I feel for having known them. Gratitude, I’ve learned, can live right alongside grief.
There’s a saying I’ve carried with me for years:
“What if you woke up one morning and only had those things you thanked God for yesterday?”
That thought always stops me in my tracks. It’s a reminder of how much we truly have, and how quickly we can overlook it until it’s gone. We are blessed beyond measure, and yet we forget.
This holiday season, my prayer is simple: that I remain in a constant state of gratitude—for what is, for what was, and for whatever comes. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it transforms it. It reminds me that I am undeservingly blessed, and that every moment, every relationship, every gift is worth cherishing.
Thanksgiving is more than a noun. It’s more than a holiday. It’s a verb when lived out correctly. And that’s exactly what I plan to do—give thanks, not just in words, but in the way I live.
A year ago, I was back in my hometown of Radford, Virginia, sitting beside my 91-year-old mother’s bed. November felt like one long, emotional tide—rolling in, rolling out, never still. Some mornings she was alert, talking about life, faith, and family with that familiar spark in her eyes. Other days she slept, withdrawn, agitated, or simply tired of the weight of going on. Every hour carried a different version of her, and the emotional toll on all of us was heavier than I ever expected.
On December 2nd, she slipped quietly and peacefully into heaven. For that, I’m grateful. But the gap she left—between me here on earth and her now in glory—feels enormous. It’s a distance I can’t measure, and a silence I still don’t quite know what to do with.
Months before losing my mom, something similar—though different—happened. Our 12-year-old mini labradoodle, Maggie, whom we adopted just two years earlier, woke up with a purple abscess on her belly. One emergency vet visit turned into another, and by the end of that horrible day… Maggie was gone too.
My wife and I both broke that day. And if I’m honest… I’m still broken.
And if we rewind another six months, I lost someone else—someone who shaped my life in immeasurable ways. A man I met in 2005 at the Rock Church in San Diego, where he served as Executive Pastor and I had just come on staff to help build the new facility. He was the one who persuaded me to go to Sudan… the first of many mission trips that would forever change my faith and life. A best friend. A confidante. A pastor. A mentor. A brother. I loved that man. I learned so much about God through him.
These are the gaps in my life.
They’re the echoing voids—the empty spaces that don’t get filled, the hollows that remind me every day that something or someone once lived there. I try to ignore them sometimes. Other times I try to fill them with distractions or busyness. And some days, I try to just sit in the darkness of them, letting the ache wash over me.
But still… they remain.
I don’t know that they’ll ever fully go away. I’m not sure they’re supposed to. And I certainly don’t want the memories to fade or get watered down with time.
But their presence—their continued, pulsing presence—reminds me how deeply I loved them and how deeply they loved me. It reminds me of laughter, joy, purpose, faith, and seasons of my life that were richer because they were in them.
I’m grateful—truly—for having had them. I’m better because of them. Their fingerprints are on my soul.
But I miss them. Terribly.
And maybe that’s what grief really is… the sacred space between what was and what remains. The gap. The echo. The reminder of love that still has nowhere to go…
There’s a phrase I’ve heard a thousand times: “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.” And I get it—finishing matters. Finishing builds legacy. Finishing earns respect.
But here’s the part people forget:
If you don’t start… you can’t finish.
You can literally change the entire trajectory of your life with one simple decision—a start. A first step. A moment when faith rises just enough to push you forward. A moment where something inside you says, “Okay… let’s do this.”
We underestimate that moment. We underestimate the power packed into a beginning.
Because starting is emotional. Starting holds both excitement and anxiety. Starting whispers possibilities while fear whispers what-ifs.
And yet… every meaningful thing in our lives—every breakthrough, every relationship, every change, every accomplishment—was born in that fragile little moment called start.
It’s why I love Mondays. Most people dread them. I welcome them.
Monday is a built-in reminder from God: Here’s a fresh start. A reset. A new mercy. A clean page where nothing has been written yet.
Our lives are full of endless possibilities—but possibilities don’t become reality until we decide to move. At some point, we have to stop rehearsing the excuses, stop overthinking the risks, stop polishing the plans… and just start.
Start the habit. Start the conversation. Start the healing. Start the business. Start the apology. Start the prayer. Start the walk. Start the change.
It doesn’t have to be pretty. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to begin.
Because that first little step—the one nobody else notices—that’s the one that unlocks the finish line.
So today, whatever dream God has been whispering to your heart… whatever assignment you’ve been delaying… whatever change you know you need to make…
For years now, the classic Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich has been America’s favorite. In fact, it has ranked #1 most beloved fast-food sandwich in survey after survey, year after year — even topping national polls for the past decade. Think about that. In a world overflowing with options, combinations, “secret menus,” and over-engineered creations, the simplest sandwich of them all consistently rises to the top.
A bun. A piece of chicken. And a pickle.
That’s it.
No elaborate toppings. No complicated sauces. No fourth-degree-of-heat spice scale. Just simple. Yet somehow, it tastes better than the sandwiches that try ten times harder.
The natural question is: why?
Most people say it’s the way the chicken is seasoned or the magic of the coating. Others swear it’s the pickle. But the real secret — the thing most people never even notice — has nothing to do with the sandwich at all.
It’s the package.
Yep. That little foil-lined pouch the sandwich sits in is the unsung hero. Chick-fil-A figured out that keeping heat and steam sealed in preserves every bit of flavor. Because of that foil lining, the sandwich tastes just as good 30 minutes after it’s cooked as it does the second it comes off the line. The secret of its success is where nobody is looking.
And you know… the same is true for us.
We spend so much time working on the part of ourselves the world sees — the “sandwich,” if you will. Our appearance. Our accomplishments. Our intelligence. Our polish. We keep working on the outside because that’s what the world reacts to. People respond to what they can see, so we keep presenting, shaping, editing, improving.
But what if the true secret to our lives — the flavor, the warmth, the impact — lives in a place no one else is looking?
I believe it’s in what we believe.
It’s in the internal “foil lining” of our lives: How we see the world. How we interpret people. How we define ourselves.
Do I see good or evil around me? Is the world for me or against me? Am I a victim or a victor?
Nobody forces us to choose. Nobody demands that we believe one way or another. It’s 100% in our control — the one area no one else can touch. Yet it is the single most important thing we can do for ourselves, and maybe for the world around us.
We don’t always need to change the sandwich. Most days, we just need a better package — one built from hope, perspective, gratitude, and truth.
Choose wisely.
And here you were thinking it was all about the chicken. 🍗
The older I get, the more I realize golf has been quietly preaching to me for years. Not with a loudspeaker or a sermon… just with those small, stubborn lessons that show up somewhere between the tee box and the 18th green. And honestly, the parallels between life and golf are almost uncanny.
Every Shot Is a Start
In golf, you can’t drag the last hole into the next one. Trust me—I’ve tried.
But life works the same way. Yesterday’s mistakes, yesterday’s pain, even yesterday’s victories… they don’t get to tell today who you are unless you let them. God hands you a brand-new shot every morning. You just have to take it.
Your Setup Matters
I’ve learned—usually the hard way—that bad alignment will sabotage a good swing every time. Life is no different.
If my heart isn’t right… If my priorities are off… If my walk with the Lord is drifting…
Then even my best effort ends up feeling strained. The setup matters—in golf and in life.
Even Good Shots Get Bad Bounces
You ever hit a drive that feels perfect… only to watch it hop into a divot someone else left behind? Life does that too.
You can make the right decisions, love people well, work hard, pray hard—and still face something completely unfair. But that’s where character, resilience, and faith get tested. The bounce isn’t the story… how you respond to it is.
Stay Where Your Feet Are
My worst holes usually come from thinking ahead—thinking about the scorecard, the water on 16, the putt I missed back on 3. But the best golf I play happens when I’m fully present for this swing.
Same in life. Regret pulls you backward. Fear pulls you forward. But God meets you right where your feet are.
Small Tweaks Change Everything
Golf rarely changes with grand gestures—it changes with little adjustments most people don’t even notice. Life, too, is shaped by the small things.
A new habit. A gentler tone. A prayer you actually stop to pray. A decision to start instead of waiting for “perfect.”
Tiny shifts… big impact.
You Play Your Own Ball
One of the quickest ways to ruin a round is to compare your swing to somebody else’s. Life isn’t any kinder to comparison.
God didn’t give me someone else’s calling, someone else’s gifts, or someone else’s course. I play my own ball—and trust Him with the journey.
The Battle Is Mostly Mental
I don’t think I’ve ever played a round where my mind didn’t try to sabotage me somehow. Same in life.
Doubt, fear, insecurity—they whisper louder than they deserve. But the moment I breathe, reset, and remember Who walks with me… the whole game changes.
Just Keep Showing Up
Some rounds feel effortless. Others feel like a grind. But I never get better unless I keep teeing it up.
Life rewards that same quiet consistency—showing up even when it’s heavy, even when it’s slow, even when you don’t feel like you’re improving at all. That’s where strength is built.
It’s Not About Perfection
No one plays perfect golf. But the best players learn how to manage their misses. Life’s the same story.
God isn’t grading us on perfect performance—He’s shaping us through growth, humility, and grace.
The People You Walk With Matter
A good round becomes great when the company is right. Same with life.
Family, friends, and just the people who show up in the hard seasons and stay long after the scorecard is signed—that’s the real treasure.
I’m not sure how I feel about arriving here… It’s a milestone that was always coming…but for some reason…it always seems a long way off…but now it’s here. Now that I’ve arrived, should I celebrate it? Probably. Some of my friends never made it here, so yes, I should celebrate. But it doesn’t feel like a ‘whoo hoo’ celebration. Instead, it calls for a reflective acknowledgment of the journey ahead, which will be much different from the path that led me here.
It seems like the path forward will require me to carry a lighter load than before. I can no longer count on my physical stamina and strength to make up for my shortcomings. I need to be smarter, wiser, and more deliberate moving forward. I’ll need to carry a lighter load and make sure I’m more intentional about how I use my resources since they are fewer now.
This milestone is about taking off my backpack and sitting down for a moment. It’s about looking back on all the beauty that God has allowed me to experience. It’s about wondering how on earth I was blessed to have the life I have enjoyed thus far. It’s about thinking of all the people I’ve met and relationships I’ve had and appreciating all of the impact each and everyone of them have had on my life. It’s being thankful and grateful and just basking in those memories for a while and thanking God for His love of me and His grace.
It’s also about going through my backpack and removing those things I no longer need. Things that have weight to them I can no longer carry. Dreams, hopes and desires that I need to let go. Some of which include, hiking the entire length of the Appalachian Trail probably needs to go, owning a house on a lake probably won’t happen, having a single digit handicap in golf is probably gone for good as well and many others… Giving them up is difficult. The voice in my head is constantly asking me, “are you sure you want to let this one go? ” …and reluctantly the answer is yes.
As difficult as this is…it’s also a time to make sure the things I still have in my backpack will be utilized and needed for the remainder of my journey. They are items that may have only been sparingly used in the past, but will be significant to my success moving forward. Some of these areas include realizing the importance of relationships, taking care of my health, watching what I eat, growing deeper spiritually, being a good steward of my finances, shielding myself from negativity and others… The journey ahead will be challenging in new ways and I’m going to need new tools, skills and attitudes.
65 is a mile marker that I’m grateful to have achieved. I’ve been blessed beyond words. My life has been nothing like I had dreamed of yet remarkable beyond my imagination. It’s now time to move on… It’s time to get up, load my new backpack on to my sore shoulders and continue on an upward path.
I’m mindful of the new feel on my shoulders and while it’s not markably heavier, it is markably different. I’m going to need to slow my pace and at the same time be more mindful to enjoy the views. I’m above the treeline now and the view is nothing but mountaintops and clouds. Yet I’m also exposed to the elements and can no longer seek the protection from the trees. This is no time to be reckless if I plan on completing my journey successfully.
The great thing about hiking is you never really know what is around the bend, or what the view is going to look like once you reach the ridge. The view is always new and changing. The camera cannot capture its beauty, nor can you share the peace that is felt in the silence of your thoughts. The wind, the sun, the crunch of each step on the path is the soundtrack of the day. Yet one thing is certain…the path that I’m on is the one that was made just for me and for how ever long it continues…I know where I’ll end up…home.
There used to be an infomercial on TV that was made famous by Ron Popeil regarding a little rotisserie oven… He would say, “Set it and forget it!” That is all that would be required. Put the food in, set the timer and it would be perfectly cooked when the timer went off.
Unfortunately, there is little in life that we can expect to come out perfectly without at least some type of maintenance and work. In fact, I would say there is nothing in life that you can truly “set it and forget it!”
We all have multiple aspects of our lives that we try to maintain. Work demands, family needs, relationships, physical responsibilities, spiritual needs as well as the things outside of ourselves, home maintenance, car, finances, and the list goes on and on. Think about all the things, both internal and external that require some aspect of your time and attention. It’s a daunting thought! The question then becomes…how are you doing?
When areas of your life get ignored, expect weeds. Nobody wants a life full of weeds because over time they just get worse and worse. If weeds remain too long, things begin to deteriorate. Weeds don’t go away by themselves. Their removal requires diligence, focus, and effort and we usually get a little dirty during the process. If you’re like me, weeding wears me out. I’m physically sore and exhausted after weeding.
Life is no different. The only way to keep weeds out of your life is to regularly spend the time to remove them in their earliest stages. The effort is minimal, but yet still required. It is relatively painless but still requires diligence, focus, and at least some degree of effort.
Every so often I make a list of everything I am responsible for. Then I ask myself, “How am I doing in that area?” This exercise always results in several areas in my life I have either neglected entirely or need immediate attention. Then I try to keep this list in front of me for a time so I’m aware of areas I need to maintain.
Unfortunately, having a perfectly manicured life is only a temporary state. Weeds can and will return. However, it is worth those brief moments when you can step back and enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Stay on top of your life. Ron Popeil’s tagline should have been, “Set it and forget it….will make you regret it!”
In the rhythm of my own life, I’ve learned something about myself that I wish I’d picked up years ago: not every day is built the same. Some days pull me toward people… and others push me straight into the quiet corners of work and responsibility. I call them People Days and Paper Days, and honestly, naming them has helped me breathe a little easier.
People Days are the ones where my calendar is full, my phone seems to ring nonstop, and I’m bouncing between conversations, meetings, and moments that ask for my emotional energy. These are days where I’m “on”—listening, encouraging, answering questions, working through problems, trying to be present for the people who matter to me.
Sometimes these days fill me up. Sometimes they wear me out. But almost always, they remind me why relationships are such a gift. God wired us for connection, and even on the days when I’m running on fumes, there’s something sacred in those interactions.
And then there are Paper Days.
These are the days when, honestly, I’d rather just hole up somewhere with a cup of coffee and work. No small talk. No meetings. Just me and whatever task has been staring at me for far too long. Paper Days give me room to think, to plan, to sort out the mess that lives in my inbox and—if I’m being really honest—the mess that sometimes lives in my head.
I’ve started giving myself permission not to force one kind of day to become the other. If it’s a People Day, I lean into it. If it’s a Paper Day, I don’t feel guilty for turning inward. Both types of days serve a purpose. Both shape me. Both move me forward in different ways.
The real trick is paying attention. Just asking myself, “What kind of day do I have in front of me?” And then letting it be that.
Some days I give. Some days I regroup. Some days I pour out. Some days I refill.
And maybe that’s the quiet wisdom of it all—recognizing the rhythm instead of fighting it. Because when I stop trying to cram everything into every day, life feels a little more manageable… and a lot more peaceful.
We have banana trees in our backyard. I love them. My wife hates them. I love them because they have huge leaves and look so tropical. My wife views them as a weed. She is bound and determined to rid our backyard of them. She routinely will go out with clippers in hand and cut them completely down. The first time she did, I got upset and stewed about it for days. Then before I knew it, I saw a small green stalk emerging from the stump that was left behind. I smiled, knowing that soon…I would have a banana tree again…and sure enough I did.
This scenario has been played out several times over the years. Each time, the banana trees coming back…healthier and more plentiful. And each time, I smile. I love my banana trees.
What I’ve learned about banana trees is that their root system is extensive. It extends over a huge area and although it can’t be seen, it is constantly at work supplying the stumps with everything they need to make a full recovery regardless of the attacks from insects, animals or wives with garden tools. The roots win…every time.
Why do I think about roots and banana trees?
Because much the same way,…I love my “roots.” I love my Southern heritage. I love the history of my family as I have researched it over the years. I love traditions. I love our Country. I love the flag. I love standing for the National Anthem and I love saying the Pledge of Allegiance. I love my faith and my church. I love being an American.
Granted, looking back at history…it may not have been pretty or perfect…but neither am I. It was what is was and whatever that was, it helped to make me…me. Roots aren’t pretty…but they aren’t supposed to be either. They have a job to do. That job is to supply stability and life sustaining nutrients to everything that they are connected to. I’ll say it again…I love my roots.
I know the culture of today may not look kindly upon the roots that made America…America. They weren’t perfect or pretty…but again…they weren’t supposed to be…they were meant to supply life to an idea that a Country that was rooted in the Word of God could thrive.
So go ahead and tear down the statues, change the names of our holidays, change the history books and anything else that offends you…but remember…just like the banana tree…the roots win!
