Category: Reflection

I can’t believe I’ve been living in Guatemala for exactly one year already!

My initial plan (ha, ha, ha) was to come down for 6 months, learn the language and then go back. Well…sometimes plans change…and I’m still learning the language. But I’m also learning some things that I never anticipated…and that is what I would like to share in this post.

We are all familiar with this children’s song, but I also believe it is a way the Guatemalans live their life…

1. Row, row, row. Guatemalans are extremely hard workers. Like a woman I met at the Guatemala City dump said, “if I don’t work, I don’t eat.”
2. They row “their” boat. They are not worried about what other people are doing.
3. They row it “gently.” Guatemalans don’t make a big fuss about much.
4. They row it “down the stream.” They pretty much go with the flow…literally.
5. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Guatemalans love their friends, they love their family and make it a priority over just about anything else.
6. Life is but a dream. They pretty much appreciate life for what it is…a one time shot..and they make the most out of each day…usually smiling.

Not a bad philosophy…don’t you think?

I think in many interactions, there is a split second of tension when we see a new person. Our brains begin making assessments and judgments about them like, “Do I like this person? Do I trust this person? Am I safe? What do they think of me?”

All these questions race through my mind as I meet or pass a new person each day. However, what I have found is if I am the first one to engage them…and I do it in a nice and friendly way…I get a nice and friendly response in every case.

It’s like they are catching the ball that I pitch.

I may not be able to control every interaction, but by being the first to throw out the pitch that I want…it certainly increases the chances that I’ll get a favorable response in return.

Here in Antigua, each day there is a sunny side of the street and a shady side of the street. Also each day, I see many Americans walking on the sunny side of the street, shielding their faces from the intense sun and complaining how hot it is. While at the exact same time, all the Guatemalans are contently walking in the cool of the shade.

We all get up each morning and we have a choice. Are we going to make it a good day, or not. That is our first decision and that simple decision then becomes the filter that we experience that day through.

Regardless of what is going on in our lives, we all have a choice in how we are going to view it… Choose the shade!

Sometimes I come home after a workout or a hard day and I’m all hot and sweaty. I am anxiously looking forward to that refreshing shower and clean clothes. Then, when I turn on the water…I get that horrible gurgling sound…and no water.

It’s in these moments I have a choice…get all upset over something I can’t control…or live with what is. I have learned to live in what is and in those times, these Huggies wipes are the best solution to my immediate problem.

Such is life. We can choose to get upset when things don’t work out…or we can accept what is and move on…

I pass many Americans on the streets here every day. I have to say, most of them seem to be miserable and disconnected from the rest of the world. Whether they are looking at their phones or not making any eye contact as they pass…the vibe is always the same…I am invisible and not important.

While Guatemalans may be reserved, a brief “Bueno Dias” will always produce a smile and a “Bueno Dias” in return. Even when I pass a group that is talking among themselves, they always return my greeting and smile.

I have realized that I love exchanging eye contact and greetings so much that I rarely wear sunglasses! I want them to see me “connect” with them…unlike many Americans, they may have passed that day.

The end result is, I am energized by them and although I may not know them personally…I feel connected to them.

I learned this phrase from Oscar. Many times I would wait to start something until I had all the information or answers. Oscar would always remind me to just get going and then when new information became available, all I would need to do is adjust.

Brilliant advice and advice that works. Many of us never start down the road of our dreams and desires, waiting for conditions to be different or perfect. That rarely happens and by not starting…we may never arrive.

Adjust the load on the road…get going and figure the rest out as it comes!

We bring many teams of volunteers down to Guatemala and the question that I hear the most is, “So, what are we going to do next?”

The reason this question drives me crazy is that they are missing the value of the present moment. They are always wondering what’s next and ignoring the lessons and the experiences of the things they are currently doing or the people they are with. It’s always…next.

Even after I tell them what we are doing next…it just opens the door to more questions.

Guatemalans don’t do that. They just live in the moment they are in…relaxed, happy and content.

This goes back to choices. Do you intentionally control what you allow your mind to think about or focus on? Have you ever had the experience of searching for something you really wanted and after finding it…you see it everywhere?

We only have so many waking hours in the day and in those hours, we can focus on things that bring us life and energy…or rob us of life and energy. It’s our choice. We choose what goes in our mind.

I like to look for things in my day to day life that look like a cross. I have compiled a folder of crosses that I have seen over time and the mere fact that I’m looking for them in my world…makes me happy.

The Bible reminds us, “seek and you shall find.” Whatever I’m consciously (or subconsciously) looking for in life…I’ll find it. I have learned to look for the good…and I have learned to look for God…everywhere and in everyone.

One day while Don Juan and I were building a stove, I looked up at this clothesline. There were no clothespins holding up the clothes! Just two cords wrapped around each other and the clothing pulled in between the two. How cool!

Then, I started thinking about how in life, the same is also true. Two people working together can do more than each can do individually. I started thinking about how the Guatemalans value each other and they spend time with each other.

Family and friendships, relationships of all types are valued above just about everything else here. Being independent or “on your own” is not something they celebrate…because life is better with others…it just is.

I don’t think I could have learned much of what I learned about myself without traveling. Placing myself in a new country and in new environments allows me to look back on my thoughts and beliefs and see them differently…with more clarity.

Basically, I never questioned why I believed what I believed or did what I did…until I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to get away from it…to see it.

I think this is a valuable lesson. Sometimes we all need a little space and time to see our situation with more clarity and honesty. I can’t think of too much in my life that demands an immediate response from me and by creating some space for me to look at the situation from afar…I tend to see more…

I think that regardless of what we all do…one thing is certain…we are all in the “people business.” And there is one thing about being in the “people business”…it’s usually messy!

Most times, people have conflicting wants, needs, viewpoints and past experiences that make them do what they do. But we also have an opportunity to make our own impression on them.

A lasting impression…and that is our opportunity…and our choice.

I think the toughest question I’ve ever asked myself is, “Am I living the life God created me to live?” I asked this question of myself several years ago. At that time, I believe I was a different person. I was pretty much unhappy with my career, I was running from a life that I felt God was calling me into, I was pretty much self-centered and I didn’t like kids…I thought they were “little germ carriers.” Yep, I was a “great guy.”

However, I finally quit running. I finally turned my life over to God and got in the game. Pastor Andy Stanley says, “When you give your life over to Christ…your future is now His problem.” I could not agree more…

What I didn’t expect was what my future would look like and where it would take me. What I also didn’t expect were the changes that He would make in my heart and in the way I live.

Living in Guatemala was something I would have never guessed would happen in my life. But over the past year, I think I’ve laughed and smiled more than I had done for my entire life beforehand. I’ve been changed from the inside and I know it. I think God has made a better me than the one I spent my life trying to make…and all I did was to “get in the game.”

So as I look back on the past year…I think this final photo pretty much sums it up. This little girl lives in Guatemala City dump…and I love her…

So much for being a “little germ carrier.”

Well…I’ve been in Antigua now for one month living “on my own.” I’ve got to say that the month has been “different”…not bad…not great…but just different. So for this months blog…I’m just going to highlight some of the things that I’ve noticed in the month I’ve been here.

My Apartment. I love my apartment…let me just get that out of the way. However…there are some nuances that make it different.

1. The downstairs bathroom requires me to walk down under a staircase. The ceiling height is only about 5’5″…so I have to crouch a lot.
2. The kitchen has only 2 burners on the stove, so I have to really think through what I’m going to cook. One pot meals rock!
3. Mirrors. All the mirrors in the house are set at about 5’0″… hence, more crouching.
4. Spare bedroom. The windows are sliding windows. Nothing is square, so there are gaps through the windows I can stick my fingers through to the outside.
5. Bathroom. The shower is awesome, but water runs all around the tub and leaks on to the floor. The maintenance man tried to fix that by putting a lump of silicone caulk at one end…needless to say…it’s something that needs some attention.
6. Laundry. There is no washer or dryer, so I run my clothes down to a hostel down the road. They do a great job and it costs about $0.65 per pound.
7. Noise. OMG! It’s noisy here! I’m on a road that leads into Antigua from the south. The weekends are non-stop traffic and with my window situation…I sleep with earplugs. There is also a B & B next door to my place. Every morning at 6:30am a van pulls up and honks the horn to pick up people to take to the airport or wherever. He doesn’t just honk once or twice either! Finally, my place seems like a meeting place for the locals. They love to congregate and talk at all hours of the day and especially night.
8. Access. The good thing is, my place is secure with cameras and a locked fence that I must enter to park my car. The bad part is, I have to get out and unlock the gate, get back in my car, pull in, get out of my car, lock the gate, get in my car and park and then get out of my car and go into my apartment. I look at it as my cardio workout for the day!

Antigua.

1. Beautiful. Antigua is a beautiful colonial city. It is absolutely beautiful and a must-see destination for anyone coming to Guatemala. There is a downside to that statement as well…they do. The city is filled with tourists from all over the world and during the weekends, the city comes alive with people coming from Guatemala City as well. So for the past month, I’ve chosen to stay close to home on the weekends and leave the city to the tourists.
2. Cool Shopping. One of the great things about being here is the throwback to days gone by in terms of shopping. For instance, there is a guy that stops his truck in front of my house every single night and screams. I never knew what he was screaming until I finally went out to investigate. He is selling fresh baked bread…every night! Every morning there is another guy that comes around with raw milk…straight from the cow! There is another guy that comes around in a pickup truck that is loaded with vegetables. Then down the street, there is a place that places a red flag outside of their store. That red flag indicates that fresh meat is for sale. It’s wild! It takes a lot of planning and forethought…but what is available here is amazing! Carrots are as big around as the end of a baseball bat. Freaky!
3. People. I love the people here. I’ve said that before, but they are the most wonderful people ever. They look at you in the eye when you pass them on the street and are quick to respond with a greeting if you extend one first. Here in Antigua, many people ignore the locals and I find that horrible, so when I engage them…they light up and I’ve gained an instant friend!
4. Surrounding villages. I’ve ventured outside of Antigua and am amazed at the need so close to this international city. My favorite village so far is called Santa Maria de Jesus. It’s located just south of Antigua and sits way above Antigua and at the base of the volcano Agua. The streets are narrow and cars in the village are few. The streets are filled with people, horses and donkeys carrying everything from sugar cane to firewood. It’s amazing and it reminds me of what the area must have looked like 100 years ago. I’ll be spending some time here!
5. Social. I’ve met some great people over the past month. Some are retired expats that have come to Guatemala to spend their retirement. Some of the people I’ve met are international 20 or 30 somethings that are traveling the world without a plan or a care in the world. I’ve also met some people that are doing great things in and around Antigua. We share our love for people and our desire to help where needed. I’m hopeful that these are the seeds that will take root. Believe me…this is fertile ground!
6. Day to Day. I rarely drive here unless I’m going out into other cities or villages. So if I’m going to stay in Antigua, I walk. That has been a great form of exercise. Cobblestone streets and sidewalks that are anything but ADA compliant abound! I usually walk about 3 to 5 miles each day. I plan my day of meetings and to-do lists and load up my backpack with everything I might need for the day…then head out. I return home around dusk with a backpack full of either groceries or supplies or a computer full of notes, contacts, and follow-ups.

All in all…I have to say that I love it here. I’ve changed…and I know it. I’m much more tolerant and much more patient than I ever have been. Guatemala has been good for me.

The first month of being on my own has been a wonderful time for me to settle and to listen to what God might have in store for me. It’s not totally clear…and I don’t expect it to be…I just know that I’m where I’m supposed to be…doing what I’m supposed to be doing…and that is good enough for me.

The other day as we were building a stove for Doña Teresa, the tortilla lady, I happened to notice her clothesline. Like many, the line was full of freshly washed clothing, but what I noticed was there were no clothespins like what I’m used to seeing on a clothesline in the U.S. In this case, the clothesline was simply two cords that were wrapped around each other. The clothing was simply stuck between the two and supported by the tension they exerted to suspend the load…ingenious!

Then I started thinking about other things that work better when two things are working together. Certainly marriage and other relationships work best when the two individuals are working together and sharing the load. Also, companies and employees, parents and children, and all other groups of people work best when they are each pulling their own share of the weight.

As the clothesline demonstrated…there is not much need for anything else…just the two individuals, wrapped tightly in a relationship, each pulling their own share of the weight.

Amazing what I learn from laundry…

Today we started another round of stove building for many of the families here in Las Anonas, Guatemala. Today, we started Berta Victor’s stove. She has two children, Oscar and Jacqueline. They are about 8 and 6 years old respectively if I were to guess. She lives in a home of corrugated metal scraps, a dirt floor, an outdoor bathroom, limited electricity all of which are pretty normal here.

Here is the photo of her “before” kitchen photo.

I love doing this for many reasons. First of all, it allows me to stay for an extended period in their home. This allows me to get to know them and vice versa. I get to know their children, and they quickly become my friends, my helpers, and my shadow!

Also, I love working with Don Juan. We still have a large language gap between us, but we still manage just fine as we make jokes, laugh, and learn from each other. I also love watching how the women go about their day. Not to sound “creepy” or anything, I learn so much by observing how difficult it is for them to live. They leave each morning with their small children and a machete and they trek off into the woods to cut the day’s supply of firewood. Then they return home and begin to prepare meals. This usually involves starting a fire and boiling beans. Then comes time to do dishes and or laundry. It’s done outside using a concrete scrub board (pila), and they scrub! The water runs out on the ground, where the chickens or the ducks enjoy the refreshment.

Today, I loved showing Don Juan many of the new tools that we were able to get by many generous donations. He was overjoyed! No more tape measures we can’t read, squares that aren’t square or levels that aren’t level. But I think the best thing was a headlamp that I bought him. We often work in very dark places and Don Juan honestly, just can’t see! I often had to use my phone and just hold it while he worked. But today, was different. After I had shown him how to use the headlamp, I demonstrated how he could adjust the light to shine of exactly where he was working, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happier!

The other thing I loved about today was the kids. Oscar and Jacqueline were my constant companions. Jacqueline made fun of me most of the day because of my Spanish. I know I use the wrong tenses, I don’t conjugate my verbs correctly, and I probably sound to her like an infant…but that’s ok because she laughs at me!

Oscar, on the other hand, was seriously into what we were doing. He worked as hard as we did by cleaning tools, stacking, soaking bricks, and just watching every move we made. At one point I was cutting bricks with a grinder, and he was so close to me our heads were touching. I had my safety glasses on, and I gave a pair to Oscar to wear as well. He loved it. After each brick I would cut, he would grab the scrap and take it inside his house.

However, the best part of today was at the end of the workday. We had mixed a little more concrete than we needed, so Don Juan told me to use it to fill a small dip in the dirt that led into their new cooking area. So, I prepared the concrete, dumped it, and before I could do anything else, little Oscar had grabbed a concrete hand float and was troweling the concrete to a beautiful finish! I was amazed and incredibly proud of him at the same time.

But I was also humbled…

Oscar demonstrated to me what the essence of this stove-building ministry SHOULD be about. It shouldn’t be about Bob getting to know and experience the daily life of Guatemalans. It should be about providing opportunities for Guatemalans to better their life! That could come in many forms. It could come from:

1. Providing a stove that eliminates smoke as they cook.
2. Providing a way to burn the wood they collect 66% more efficiently.
3. Providing jobs for masons, like Don Juan.
4. Providing training, hope, and igniting the flame of future possibilities in young men like little Oscar.

This ministry is not about Bob. It’s about Bob teeing up an opportunity, getting the right people in place, and then getting out of the way. That’s the model that will work…

I get it…finally…

I love having conversations.

It doesn’t matter with whom I’m speaking as long as at the end of the conversation…I feel better than I did when I started. Also, regarding “having a conversation”, I’m not referring to the “mindless chatter” that we all engage in every day. I’m talking about face-to-face, no cell phones, no time limit, no disruption types of conversations. It’s also a bonus if it includes an ice-cold beer or a great glass of wine!

However, what I’ve discovered is that these types of conversations are happening less and less. I hate to say it…but they are about as rare as an Indian head nickel.

Why is that?

I believe one of the reasons has to do with the distractions of the cell phone. I hate competing with a cell phone…and I usually lose that battle. It seems that the person on the other end of that electronic device is more important than me and as a result, I simply “flip the switch” in my mind and acquiesce the attention.

But I think the other reason “good conversations” are so rare is that what we choose to discuss. I believe there are three areas where our conversations tend to focus…the past, the present, or the future.

Conversations that are primarily about past events are called, “rearview mirror” conversations. They are focused on what someone did, or what happened. I dislike these for several reasons:

1. One person does all the complaining (I mean talking).
2. The person goes into all types of specifics that describe a series of events that can’t be changed or improved.
3. They recount endless examples of shame, disappointment, and loss.
4. I feel exhausted afterward.

Inversely, conversations that are focused primarily on peering into the future are dominated by taking something that has not yet happened and talking about it as it already has. I dislike these as well for similar reasons:

1. They are marked with fear, feelings of “what if”, powerlessness and uncertainty.
2. Again, one person does most of the talking and only wants you to validate their fears, actions, or choices.
3. Future conversations are created and rehearsed; future dreams are challenged and rationalized as being not worth the pursuit and future fears are inflated to epic proportion.
4. I feel frustrated afterward.

However, conversations that are focused primarily on the present are much more enjoyable for me. I like them for several reasons:

1. They are focused on what people are “doing.” Doing is much more interesting than “did” and doing is more useful than “what if.”
2. I love to hear what people are actually “doing.” Because they can relate what they are learning and what they are experiencing and I can usually learn something as well.
3. Conversations that are centered on these subjects are engaging and energizing and are fun to share! I wish we had more of these!

So the next time you’re feeling exhausted…ask yourself how much time you have spent that day “looking in the rearview mirror.” Likewise, the next time your feel anxious or worried…ask yourself how much time you’ve spent living in the future.

Challenge yourself to stay in the present. Keep your focus here…and believe me…your friends will thank you for it!