Category: Faith

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Mile Marker 65…

I’m not sure how I feel about arriving here… It’s a milestone that was always coming…but for some reason…it always seems a long way off…but now it’s here. Now that I’ve arrived, should I celebrate it? Probably. Some of my friends never made it here, so yes, I should celebrate. But it doesn’t feel like a ‘whoo hoo’ celebration. Instead, it calls for a reflective acknowledgment of the journey ahead, which will be much different from the path that led me here.

It seems like the path forward will require me to carry a lighter load than before. I can no longer count on my physical stamina and strength to make up for my shortcomings. I need to be smarter, wiser, and more deliberate moving forward. I’ll need to carry a lighter load and make sure I’m more intentional about how I use my resources since they are fewer now.

This milestone is about taking off my backpack and sitting down for a moment. It’s about looking back on all the beauty that God has allowed me to experience. It’s about wondering how on earth I was blessed to have the life I have enjoyed thus far. It’s about thinking of all the people I’ve met and relationships I’ve had and appreciating all of the impact each and everyone of them have had on my life. It’s being thankful and grateful and just basking in those memories for a while and thanking God for His love of me and His grace.

It’s also about going through my backpack and removing those things I no longer need. Things that have weight to them I can no longer carry. Dreams, hopes and desires that I need to let go. Some of which include, hiking the entire length of the Appalachian Trail probably needs to go, owning a house on a lake probably won’t happen, having a single digit handicap in golf is probably gone for good as well and many others… Giving them up is difficult. The voice in my head is constantly asking me, “are you sure you want to let this one go? ” …and reluctantly the answer is yes.

As difficult as this is…it’s also a time to make sure the things I still have in my backpack will be utilized and needed for the remainder of my journey. They are items that may have only been sparingly used in the past, but will be significant to my success moving forward. Some of these areas include realizing the importance of relationships, taking care of my health, watching what I eat, growing deeper spiritually, being a good steward of my finances, shielding myself from negativity and others… The journey ahead will be challenging in new ways and I’m going to need new tools, skills and attitudes.

65 is a mile marker that I’m grateful to have achieved. I’ve been blessed beyond words. My life has been nothing like I had dreamed of yet remarkable beyond my imagination. It’s now time to move on… It’s time to get up, load my new backpack on to my sore shoulders and continue on an upward path.

I’m mindful of the new feel on my shoulders and while it’s not markably heavier, it is markably different. I’m going to need to slow my pace and at the same time be more mindful to enjoy the views. I’m above the treeline now and the view is nothing but mountaintops and clouds. Yet I’m also exposed to the elements and can no longer seek the protection from the trees. This is no time to be reckless if I plan on completing my journey successfully.

The great thing about hiking is you never really know what is around the bend, or what the view is going to look like once you reach the ridge. The view is always new and changing. The camera cannot capture its beauty, nor can you share the peace that is felt in the silence of your thoughts. The wind, the sun, the crunch of each step on the path is the soundtrack of the day. Yet one thing is certain…the path that I’m on is the one that was made just for me and for how ever long it continues…I know where I’ll end up…home.

Happy 65th to me…the journey continues…

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Heel…

One of my favorite new pastimes is walking our dog, Maggie. I get my exercise, she gets her exercise and we are both so much better for it. But we don’t just hook up the leash and go for it…as we have both learned from our obedience school lessons…there is a correct way to walk… and an incorrect way to walk.

The correct way to walk (to heel) keeps Maggie on a loose leash on my left side. She walks even with me and sometimes slightly behind. In this position, I am the leader and I can turn left or right or take an abrupt about-face and she can move with me with ease because she is close to me and can easily see me. Her being in this position is not restrictive to her either because I can also easily keep an eye on her and when she needs to sniff or “take a break” I can simply slow down or stop. I lead, she follows and we both enjoy our walk.

Conversely, the incorrect way for her to walk is ahead of me. As she moves ahead of me, she loses sight of me. Losing sight of me means that she becomes the leader and the decision maker and as I have learned about dogs…they don’t like to make decisions, they need a leader…it stresses them out if they feel they have to lead. So now we have a stressed-out Maggie out in front of me and “pulling” on the leash. (If dogs feel tension on the leash, they naturally feel the need to pull against it…I learned that in “doggie school” too.) So she’s stressed out and pulling against me and now when I want to turn left or right or around, the only way to do so makes me pull on her leash…which creates more stress…in her and in me. The walk becomes a struggle. The enjoyment is gone.

Despite the pulling, the stress, and the anxiety…she always feels the need to initially take the lead and to get out in front of me on our walks. So each time, I have to spend the first few minutes of our walk (and sometimes more…) “reminding her” to heel…and here’s how I do it…

When she takes off and begins to walk ahead, I can tell that she is no longer keeping tabs on me. She is lost in the new smells, the sights, and the countless other things competing for her attention. Once I see that she is no longer aware of my presence…I’ll simply stop walking abruptly and hold tight to the leash. The result is she quickly gets to the end of the leash and she suffers the shock of an immediate “correction”. Meaning…she gets the heck jerked out of herself.

The extent of the jerk is never my doing…it’s always based on the speed and momentum of her moving away from me. The quicker she leaves me…the stronger the impact of the jerk will be when she reaches the end of the leash.

Sometimes I’ll have to start and stop walking several times in a row and each time she’ll jerk, stop and look at me and then when we start walking again…she’ll take off and I’ll stop and she’ll jerk and we do it several times and then she finally catches on. She’ll take off and I’ll stop and she’ll take another step and realize I’ve stopped and then she’ll stop and look back at me until I start walking again. This is our “dance” over who will be the leader of the walk. We do it every night.

The best nights are when we both slowly walk out the front door and slowly turn down onto the sidewalk. One stop and she’s reminded and then she returns to my side (or slightly behind) and off we go. Loose leash, no anxiety, both of us enjoying the walk and each other’s company…

So why go into so much detail about walking a dog…?

Well, I think sometimes God must feel the same way about us. He knows where we should be in relation to Him. He knows that when we keep Him in our sights, our lives are better and we are happier and safer. In essence, he wants us to “heel”.

Yet, we don’t. Like Maggie, each day we take off with our own ideas, agendas, thoughts, beliefs, and needs and it’s not too long before we suffer for it. God simply stops walking and we get jerked by our own doings.

I’ve learned a lot about myself from Maggie. We are more alike than I care to admit. I love that dog with all of my heart and it breaks my heart to see her “corrected” each time we walk. But I just have to love her enough to let her experience the “correction” that she has created by leaving me.

So when I’m feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated about something, I now think about Maggie and our walks and I ask myself…

“Am I heeling?”

Well, we both know the answer to that…

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Broken…

Finn was my constant companion when I hurt my ankle…

I’ll bet that anyone that has had a pet has been heartbroken at one time or another. I am living in that space right now.

Finn is 13 years old. Like many pets, certainly dogs, he is a perfect example of pure love, forgiveness, and being present. He never worries, holds grudges, or is in a bad mood. He has been an incredible friend and part of the family. As I write this, my eyes are filling with tears and the lump in my throat is making it difficult to swallow…because I know what is coming and it is breaking my heart.

Finn is suffering. He tries to hide it, but it’s getting the best of him. Not to get into specifics, my wife and I have come to the realization that we need to put an end to his suffering and allow ours to begin for a while… So tomorrow, we are going to have someone come to our house and have him put down.

….no words…

This morning coming to work, I was wrestling with that inevitable decision. I was praying as I drove to work and asking God to give me the strength to be able to go thru with it and then be able to comfort my wife for the difficult days to follow…then it hit me…

This is Easter week. Friday is Good Friday. If I am feeling this way knowing what I know I have to do tomorrow…I now know (in a very small way) how God must have felt knowing what He had to do…

It’s amazing how many Easters I have experienced and how often I have read about and meditated on what Jesus willingly did for us…but I never thought about the anguish of God and what He was going through knowing that He was the one that would end the life of the one he loved so dearly… I can’t imagine…but now I have a small sense of the pain that must have been caused.

God did what needed to be done…regardless of the pain that it caused him. He did it for love. Love for His son and an even greater love for us…His creation. God did it for love.

Now I must do the same.

Finn has brought me an incredible amount of joy and happiness. He is being called home to begin his “forever life” and I need to release him to go…regardless of the pain. I need to do it for love…too.

The tears…the lump in my throat that won’t go away reminds me of that love…the love I have given and the love I have received.

Easter will be different this year…and probably for years to come with the realization of what love really looks…and feels like…. It’s not always pleasant…

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Trust…

I’ve been thinking a lot about trust recently. What is it and why is it important? What are the effects of having it…and not having it? Whom do I trust and why?

It used to be that I trusted a lot of things and a lot of people.

  • I trusted the news.
  • I trusted our government.
  • I trusted my teachers.
  • I trusted my doctor.
  • I trusted what I was told.
  • I trusted the closest people in my life.
  • I trusted the decisions of those in charge.
  • I trusted those I loved.
  • I trusted that given a chance, people would do the right thing.

Lot’s has changed.

I’m not so sure anymore. The once long list of things I trusted and people I trusted has drastically be whittled down over time. Why is that? What changed?

Well, to begin with, the very essence of “trust” begins with the two letters securely placed within the word itself…” us“. To me, trust is a voluntary transaction between two parties. It is my relinquishing power, control, care, well-being, safety from myself to another entity. It’s my belief that there is a mutual concern about “us”, and that my well-being will be viewed just as important to them as their well-being.

As I said, a lot has changed…

What are the effects of this change?

Well, the world is certainly a more lonely place without trust. Living in a world where everything you see, hear and experience has to be scrutinized and researched certainly is an emotional grind. That once “voluntary transaction” has become something I consciously hold on to and protect as my life depends on it…and it very well might!

What is the solution?

I’ve always viewed trust in terms of an equation. It can be summed up like this: Consistent behavior/time. That’s it. When I observe someone’s consistent behavior over a long period of time, it helps me assess whether that person is someone I may want to trust or not. That might also explain why trust is in such short supply these days.

There has been such a dramatic shift in what we say we believe, who we believe and why we should believe it. We are changing our history, our culture, and our character at a record rate. What once was held as true and noble is now questioned and discouraged. Having a differing opinion from the masses now comes with punitive consequences. What was true 5 years ago is ridiculed today.

But there is an upside…

The upside for me is quite simply…my faith. These days… and the challenges that each day brings… makes me hold on to the only thing that has never once waivered, never once let me down, never once disappointed me, (and utilizing my equation)… has been incredibly consistent over time…all of time.

I have leaned on … and leaned into my faith in Christ more in the past few years than I ever have and each day I return to Him to check my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions. It’s hard for me to think about having to go through this life…in these times without faith. It is truly the only place where I can fully and completely voluntarily give everything over to someone whom I know without a doubt will place my well-being equal to or greater than His own…because He’s already done it once…for all of us.

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Reset…

One day at work I was having a problem with my computer. The screen was blinking on and off and the entire thing seemed off. So I did what I do to so many other of my electronic devices…I powered it off and then turned it back on. After a few minutes of “it doing its thing”….all was well once again. Problem solved.

I thought about this one morning driving to work in the early morning hours, long before the sun would come up. It’s my favorite time of the day. The roadways are empty and the entire world is just…quiet. It’s wonderful. It’s this time of day that I believe I hear God more clearly than at any other time.

On this particular morning, all I could hear was one phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.” That’s it…but I heard it over and over and over again. All the way during my 30-minute drive into work, I just kept hearing and thinking about that phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.”

So when I got to work, made my coffee, and sat down at my desk, I began to realize all the “background thoughts” that I was carrying with me, so I started writing them down. Here is the list:

  1. Worry
  2. Fear
  3. Disappointment
  4. Judgment
  5. Loss
  6. Regret
  7. Things I need to do

Then I repeated the phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.”

What this statement I had been pondering all morning was asking me to do was to release these “background thoughts” that were cluttering up my mind. God was asking me to give all of that to Him and for me just to be still and enjoy His presence.

So at the moment…I did… and immediately, I felt better. I felt like I had just dropped a heavy load off my shoulders and I felt like I could breathe again, smile again, and see clearly again. God had asked me to power down and just do a reset. That way, all the things in this world that seek to weigh me down would be placed back where they should be…at His feet.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’m not naive enough to know that this feeling will be permanent…but it certainly did help me be reminded that sometimes, regardless of what may or may not be happening in life…a simple reset will ensure that all systems are working as they should be my operating system is in harmony with the one that made it.

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…Where do we go?

Last night at dinner, my wife was sharing with me her fears and struggles of weighing her love of teaching with the fears of contracting COVID-19. Should she continue teaching or should she quit? She recounted the list of all the recent people in the news that had passed away from the disease and projected the emotional impact it would take on her daughter and granddaughters in the event she contracted the disease and ultimately passed away! (Yes…that was our dinner conversation…) She was distraught and bound by the fear of the possibility of…regardless of its likelihood and ultimate effect.

My wife is not alone in her fears.

After listening to her talk and get increasingly “wound up”, I finally had to ask, “where’s your faith?”

Her response was, “I have faith, but I also want to be wise.” I agreed and asked her where she looked for that “wisdom.” She was quiet. I knew the answer…TV.

Today, I finished reading the entire Bible cover to cover for the 16th time. It’s been a daily practice and one of the reasons I get up at 3:45 am each working day and get to work…to spend time with God. It’s critical for me to start each day aligned and close to what I believe the will of God is for me in my life. I never want to start a day going in a direction God doesn’t want me to go. Reflecting on my conversation with my wife, I reminded of a couple of things:

  1. Fear and Faith cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Just like light and darkness. It must be one or the other…our choice.
  2. Nothing in this life is a surprise to God. He’s not going to say, “Oh crap, I didn’t see that coming!”
  3. He offers us His presence. Yet so many of us decline the offer…even believers!

I picture God is holding an umbrella and He invites us to come in out of the rain, come in out of the fear, come in out of the uncertainty, and to stand protected, dry, and safely close to Him. Yet, many choose to stay out in the rain and get wet.

Even when there is no storm, His umbrella offers protection from the heat of the sun and its long-term damage. When things are “going good” for us, when we are healthy, when we have enough money, when we apparently “don’t need Him” is really when we do! He offers us the umbrella that provides His wisdom, His grace, His forgiveness, and His peace…the things we all need to build as our foundation, but rarely reach out for it until there is a storm.

And I believe a storm is coming.

With all that is happening in our world, I honestly believe that we are in for some difficult days ahead.

Our world, our country our families, and our friends are on two distinct sides of the fence. We both believe we are right and we both believe the other side is bad or stupid. We are repeatedly being told what we are to believe and how we are to act. And we do…because we “trust” it is in our best interest…but what if it’s not? How would we know?

I don’t have the answers. But we know the one that does. Yet we rarely ask!

Back to my conversation last night with my wife. She was struggling with what she should do considering all her fears and what she had received from the news reports. So, I asked her, “what did God say you should do?” She was quiet. She hadn’t asked…

I pray that in the days to come…we all would change that. Ask! Each day! For what to do that day!

I shared with her that I only knew one thing. I knew that each day of my life I was going to make sure I began each day under what I believe was the will of God. I didn’t care what that looked like as long as it was what I believed was His will. Regardless of what happens or what is happening with me, to me, or around me…I was going to stay under that umbrella…and as close to the one holding it as possible.

You’ve been invited in to join me…come on in…there’s plenty of room.

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Don’t Give Up…Give In…

2020 has been a difficult year thus far.

  • I’ve got close members of my family struggling with the possibility of divorce.
  • I’ve got close friends with health problems.
  • I’ve got close friends with significant financial problems.
  • I’ve got friends out of work…and the list could continue…

We have all been emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically stretched almost to the breaking point.

Each day we are met with something new to:

  1. Be afraid of…
  2. Be angry with…
  3. Mourn the loss of…

It’s crazy! So what are we supposed to do?

Not to downplay the significance of each situation, I think the first thing we need to recognize is the root cause we are triggered in the first place.

I think it all boils down to the fact that:

  1. We realize things are not going the way we want them to.
  2. We try to control situations that we ultimately can’t control.
  3. We project our interpretations of what the future will hold…and that future usually looks bad.

I realize…it’s hard not to get sucked into the daily pull towards negative thoughts and hopelessness…but hard is not impossible…it’s just hard.

So what do you do?

Don’t Give Up…Give In…

In the Bible, (Psalm 55:22) reminds us to, “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” NLT.

Why do we seldom truly “give” our burdens to the LORD? I know for me, I freely give all my burdens and concerns to Him each morning in prayer…and then by the end of the day… I have taken them all back…and I’m all anxious once again. Then the next morning…the process repeats itself.

But to really “give” means there is no taking back and to do that, I need to believe the following:

  1. God is real and present in my life. He hears my prayers…and gives a damn…
  2. God is capable…
  3. God is willing…

The great thing about God is this…He will never force Himself on us…either to believe in Him or to intervene in our life unwanted. But like pastor Andy Stanley once said, “Once you give your life to Christ…your problems are now His problems…”

…and if I truly believe that He is real, present, capable and willing…then my future… and all my problems and concerns are all His. And although I may try to take them back from time to time…I know He’ll allow me to do just that… until I once again realize their rightful owner…and give them back… He’s good like that…or better yet…He’s God like that!

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The Emperor’s New Clothes…

photo from Wikipedia

Last night when I came home after work, I was greeted by my wife who was excited to show me her new purchase…several new face masks that she bought at the grocery store… I managed to contain my excitement…

Fast forward to this morning at 4:53 am as I make my way to work and as I am driving, I am having my morning prayer time…

Typically when I pray, most of my focus is spent asking God to intervene or help me with my marriage, my work, my friends and my family, and then at the end, I throw in prayers for our leaders and our world. Most of my prayers are centered around the areas of life closest to me…but not now… Now my prayers are focused on a national and global scale and less about me…I’m truly perplexed…and I’m not sure what to do…

I believe that there is good within each and every situation…and we just have to stop and look for it. So as part of my prayer time this morning…I went looking for good… and here is what I found…

I saw behind the curtain…

  • I saw how easily and quickly we have given up our freedom and liberty.
  • I saw how quickly the entire world reacted in a similar manner. How did that happen?
  • I saw how quickly our way of being, our beliefs, and our values were rapidly exchanged for blind obedience.
  • I saw how the world is reacting to data that is not being verified and challenged.
  • I saw how questioning or challenging the social narrative is quickly discouraged not only by those “in charge”…but friends, neighbors, and society in general.

How does the entire world change so rapidly and so drastically and why are so many of us ok with it?

Then, I thought about the childhood story “The Emperor’s New Clothes” written by Hans Christian Andersen and published in 1837. As you recall, the story is about two weavers who promise an emperor a new suit of clothes. They say the fabric is invisible to those who are unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent – while in reality, they make no clothes at all! When the emperor parades before his subjects in his new “clothes”, no one dares to say that they do not see any suit of clothes on him for fear that they will be seen as stupid or incompetent. Finally, a child cries out saying, “He isn’t wearing anything at all!”

The simplicity of this childhood story published 183 years ago has never been more relevant than I believe it is today. We need more voices… Whatever or whoever is behind that curtain is not good. Despite what is said, they are not looking after our best interests. And it’s certainly not what God wants for all of us… If you don’t believe me…try going to church!

We need more voices…we need to question all information…we need to do what is right, not necessarily what we are told…we need to place our obedience in the one that loves us…created us… and died for us.

The state of this world should not be a surprise… and we’re probably not going to change it…however, we still have the power…and the responsibility … to choose how we will exist in it…is a choice that is entirely up to us.

I hope we will step back and look…look up…and then choose wisely.

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Fighting the “good” fight…

Game on…

Who would have thought that just a few months ago, the world would look the way it currently does… Fortunately, I still have a job that I can go to and do what I love to do. But I also realize this is not the case for many, many others. We are literally being bombarded with “apparent” reasons to stress out, worry, and be afraid.

I’m on conference calls several times a week discussing the constantly changing rules and requirements that need to be adhered to or implemented immediately. We truly are at war with an “unseen enemy”…but that is really nothing new…when you think about it…we’ve always been.

While COVID-19 seems to be the “enemy” of the day, we have always been in a constant fight against an unseen enemy. It’s been a battle not only for our health…it’s a battle for our thoughts, our beliefs, our marriages, and our souls. There is an unseen enemy that has plagued our lives from the very beginning and the sad part is…many of us just choose to ignore it. Millions of us have fallen victim to this enemy that literally wants to kill us, to ruin our lives or at least to make us give up on hope…but we can fight back.

But concerning the COVID-19 virus, we are being told to implement the following precautions:

  1. Maintain Social distancing
  2. Wash you hands
  3. Wear masks

But these precautions are also applicable to the spiritual enemy that we also face. Here’s what I mean…

  1. Social distancing. We need to stay away from things that do not uplift us. Stop watching the news, or movies or reading books that make you feel worse rather than better.
  2. Wash your hands. If we are not careful, bad things will stick to us that we need to get rid of. Have we inadvertently picked up or developed some habits that are not serving us? Are we putting things into our bodies that are bad for our long term? How about what we say? Are we encouraging or discouraging? How about our thoughts? Do we have thoughts of hope or thoughts of despair? Have we claimed our strength or given it away?
  3. Wear masks. How about how you appear to others? Do you smile? Do you walk with your shoulders back and standing tall? Do you whistle or hum? (I don’t believe you can do either of those if you’re in a bad mood). How to you appear to others? Have you ever thought about that?

Yes, we are in a battle…but we’ve always been…it’s just a different enemy coming from a different angle and unfortunately that situation is not going to go away…not for a long, long time.

There is good news though.

We can win this battle. But we have to fight each and every day. Get used to it. The world we currently inhabit is our battlefield and our enemy owns it…for now. We can “fight the good fight”, but we don’t have to do it alone. In fact, if you choose to go it alone…your chances of success are minimal if at all.

What am I getting at? Let me cut to the chase…

It breaks my heart to think about all the people in my life that have not given their life to Christ. I know that many of them feel if they do, they will be giving up something. They believe all the fun will go out of how they live. But all of that couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s in Him where we can find our strength, our security, and our hope that regardless of what happens…we are never alone or off His radar. He promises us this. “I will never leave you or forsake you.” That was His promise…and to date…when I look back on my life…many people have said something similar to me and have failed to live up to that promise…but Christ has never, ever let me down.

I can’t imagine going through this crisis, this life…without this assurance. In my relationship with Christ, I know with certainty one thing…that regardless of what happens…I’ll be alright…and I live each day by that assurance. As pastor Andy Stanley once said, “when you give your life to Christ, your problems are now His problem.” And frankly, I’m good with that!

How about you…aren’t you tired of going it alone?

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First things first…

Sometimes…I’m a worrier.

I was walking the jobsite recently worrying about a wide variety of issues. I was thinking about things that “could” happen or “might” happen and then thinking about steps to make sure what I want to happen… actually happens. In most cases, these thoughts were usually not the “good things” that could happen…they were usually bad…and with that came anxiety and worry. When I think about this…I’m embarrassed because 99% of the time…I can’t control the inevitable anyway! Yet, I continue to choose to carry the emotional burden of control anyway…ridiculous.

The Bible addresses this directly. In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus instructs us not to worry. He goes on to give examples of why worrying is a wasted effort…which I agree with…intellectually…but I often fail to do it…

So what can I do?

Verse 33 gives me the answer…“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…” Ok, so what does that look like to me?

Maybe it looks like this…

I’m right in the middle of some home renovations. During this process, I’ve tried to save money by doing most of the work myself. What I’m learning in the process is that it’s physically demanding on this 60-year-old body. I also don’t have the tools I need and as a result, I either have to work with what I have or go and buy the tools I need and that is becoming expensive. Also, I’ve never done some of the work before, so it is taking me much longer and the end result proves it.

What I should be doing is to find a contractor that has the correct tools and the skills to do what I need to have done. If I did that…it would take much less time and the results would be much better than I could have done and it would be a welcomed relief for my 60-year-old body.

In essence, it’s about seeking the “right” person for the job and realizing that in most cases, I’m not that person.

So, going back to Matthew 6:33…Jesus is saying that He is the right person for everything we need to be done…not us. We need to trust in his expertise and competence to do what needs to be done and if we do that…the results will be way more than what we could have done ourselves or what we would have expected.

Which brings me back to the jobsite. As I walked the site and contemplated these new thoughts, I immediately felt my worry and anxiety melt away. The problems I worried about were now His problems. My concerns were now His concerns and I let go of them…and felt better for it because I knew He would handle them. I knew He was in charge and I felt certain everything was going to be ok. At that moment, I happened to look down where I was standing and saw this on the ground…

Seek first…I got it…