Category: Christian

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Mile Marker 65…

I’m not sure how I feel about arriving here… It’s a milestone that was always coming…but for some reason…it always seems a long way off…but now it’s here. Now that I’ve arrived, should I celebrate it? Probably. Some of my friends never made it here, so yes, I should celebrate. But it doesn’t feel like a ‘whoo hoo’ celebration. Instead, it calls for a reflective acknowledgment of the journey ahead, which will be much different from the path that led me here.

It seems like the path forward will require me to carry a lighter load than before. I can no longer count on my physical stamina and strength to make up for my shortcomings. I need to be smarter, wiser, and more deliberate moving forward. I’ll need to carry a lighter load and make sure I’m more intentional about how I use my resources since they are fewer now.

This milestone is about taking off my backpack and sitting down for a moment. It’s about looking back on all the beauty that God has allowed me to experience. It’s about wondering how on earth I was blessed to have the life I have enjoyed thus far. It’s about thinking of all the people I’ve met and relationships I’ve had and appreciating all of the impact each and everyone of them have had on my life. It’s being thankful and grateful and just basking in those memories for a while and thanking God for His love of me and His grace.

It’s also about going through my backpack and removing those things I no longer need. Things that have weight to them I can no longer carry. Dreams, hopes and desires that I need to let go. Some of which include, hiking the entire length of the Appalachian Trail probably needs to go, owning a house on a lake probably won’t happen, having a single digit handicap in golf is probably gone for good as well and many others… Giving them up is difficult. The voice in my head is constantly asking me, “are you sure you want to let this one go? ” …and reluctantly the answer is yes.

As difficult as this is…it’s also a time to make sure the things I still have in my backpack will be utilized and needed for the remainder of my journey. They are items that may have only been sparingly used in the past, but will be significant to my success moving forward. Some of these areas include realizing the importance of relationships, taking care of my health, watching what I eat, growing deeper spiritually, being a good steward of my finances, shielding myself from negativity and others… The journey ahead will be challenging in new ways and I’m going to need new tools, skills and attitudes.

65 is a mile marker that I’m grateful to have achieved. I’ve been blessed beyond words. My life has been nothing like I had dreamed of yet remarkable beyond my imagination. It’s now time to move on… It’s time to get up, load my new backpack on to my sore shoulders and continue on an upward path.

I’m mindful of the new feel on my shoulders and while it’s not markably heavier, it is markably different. I’m going to need to slow my pace and at the same time be more mindful to enjoy the views. I’m above the treeline now and the view is nothing but mountaintops and clouds. Yet I’m also exposed to the elements and can no longer seek the protection from the trees. This is no time to be reckless if I plan on completing my journey successfully.

The great thing about hiking is you never really know what is around the bend, or what the view is going to look like once you reach the ridge. The view is always new and changing. The camera cannot capture its beauty, nor can you share the peace that is felt in the silence of your thoughts. The wind, the sun, the crunch of each step on the path is the soundtrack of the day. Yet one thing is certain…the path that I’m on is the one that was made just for me and for how ever long it continues…I know where I’ll end up…home.

Happy 65th to me…the journey continues…

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Roots…

We have banana trees in our backyard. I love them. My wife hates them. I love them because they have huge leaves and look so tropical. My wife views them as a weed. She is bound and determined to rid our backyard of them. She routinely will go out with clippers in hand and cut them completely down. The first time she did, I got upset and stewed about it for days. Then before I knew it, I saw a small green stalk emerging from the stump that was left behind. I smiled, knowing that soon…I would have a banana tree again…and sure enough I did.

This scenario has been played out several times over the years. Each time, the banana trees coming back…healthier and more plentiful. And each time, I smile. I love my banana trees.

What I’ve learned about banana trees is that their root system is extensive. It extends over a huge area and although it can’t be seen, it is constantly at work supplying the stumps with everything they need to make a full recovery regardless of the attacks from insects, animals or wives with garden tools. The roots win…every time.

Why do I think about roots and banana trees?

Because much the same way,…I love my “roots.” I love my Southern heritage. I love the history of my family as I have researched it over the years. I love traditions. I love our Country. I love the flag. I love standing for the National Anthem and I love saying the Pledge of Allegiance. I love my faith and my church. I love being an American.

Granted, looking back at history…it may not have been pretty or perfect…but neither am I. It was what is was and whatever that was, it helped to make me…me. Roots aren’t pretty…but they aren’t supposed to be either. They have a job to do. That job is to supply stability and life sustaining nutrients to everything that they are connected to. I’ll say it again…I love my roots.

I know the culture of today may not look kindly upon the roots that made America…America. They weren’t perfect or pretty…but again…they weren’t supposed to be…they were meant to supply life to an idea that a Country that was rooted in the Word of God could thrive.

So go ahead and tear down the statues, change the names of our holidays, change the history books and anything else that offends you…but remember…just like the banana tree…the roots win!

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Heel…

One of my favorite new pastimes is walking our dog, Maggie. I get my exercise, she gets her exercise and we are both so much better for it. But we don’t just hook up the leash and go for it…as we have both learned from our obedience school lessons…there is a correct way to walk… and an incorrect way to walk.

The correct way to walk (to heel) keeps Maggie on a loose leash on my left side. She walks even with me and sometimes slightly behind. In this position, I am the leader and I can turn left or right or take an abrupt about-face and she can move with me with ease because she is close to me and can easily see me. Her being in this position is not restrictive to her either because I can also easily keep an eye on her and when she needs to sniff or “take a break” I can simply slow down or stop. I lead, she follows and we both enjoy our walk.

Conversely, the incorrect way for her to walk is ahead of me. As she moves ahead of me, she loses sight of me. Losing sight of me means that she becomes the leader and the decision maker and as I have learned about dogs…they don’t like to make decisions, they need a leader…it stresses them out if they feel they have to lead. So now we have a stressed-out Maggie out in front of me and “pulling” on the leash. (If dogs feel tension on the leash, they naturally feel the need to pull against it…I learned that in “doggie school” too.) So she’s stressed out and pulling against me and now when I want to turn left or right or around, the only way to do so makes me pull on her leash…which creates more stress…in her and in me. The walk becomes a struggle. The enjoyment is gone.

Despite the pulling, the stress, and the anxiety…she always feels the need to initially take the lead and to get out in front of me on our walks. So each time, I have to spend the first few minutes of our walk (and sometimes more…) “reminding her” to heel…and here’s how I do it…

When she takes off and begins to walk ahead, I can tell that she is no longer keeping tabs on me. She is lost in the new smells, the sights, and the countless other things competing for her attention. Once I see that she is no longer aware of my presence…I’ll simply stop walking abruptly and hold tight to the leash. The result is she quickly gets to the end of the leash and she suffers the shock of an immediate “correction”. Meaning…she gets the heck jerked out of herself.

The extent of the jerk is never my doing…it’s always based on the speed and momentum of her moving away from me. The quicker she leaves me…the stronger the impact of the jerk will be when she reaches the end of the leash.

Sometimes I’ll have to start and stop walking several times in a row and each time she’ll jerk, stop and look at me and then when we start walking again…she’ll take off and I’ll stop and she’ll jerk and we do it several times and then she finally catches on. She’ll take off and I’ll stop and she’ll take another step and realize I’ve stopped and then she’ll stop and look back at me until I start walking again. This is our “dance” over who will be the leader of the walk. We do it every night.

The best nights are when we both slowly walk out the front door and slowly turn down onto the sidewalk. One stop and she’s reminded and then she returns to my side (or slightly behind) and off we go. Loose leash, no anxiety, both of us enjoying the walk and each other’s company…

So why go into so much detail about walking a dog…?

Well, I think sometimes God must feel the same way about us. He knows where we should be in relation to Him. He knows that when we keep Him in our sights, our lives are better and we are happier and safer. In essence, he wants us to “heel”.

Yet, we don’t. Like Maggie, each day we take off with our own ideas, agendas, thoughts, beliefs, and needs and it’s not too long before we suffer for it. God simply stops walking and we get jerked by our own doings.

I’ve learned a lot about myself from Maggie. We are more alike than I care to admit. I love that dog with all of my heart and it breaks my heart to see her “corrected” each time we walk. But I just have to love her enough to let her experience the “correction” that she has created by leaving me.

So when I’m feeling stressed, anxious, or frustrated about something, I now think about Maggie and our walks and I ask myself…

“Am I heeling?”

Well, we both know the answer to that…

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It’s all in the setup…

I love playing golf. I’m not good at it, but that doesn’t stop me from always practicing, tinkering, and trying to get better. In trying to get better, I recently videoed my swing. I was horrified. It was nothing like the swing I had pictured in my mind, it was nothing like the swing my body assured me that I had by simply feel and it is not the type of swing I ultimately want to have!

So in trying to work through some of the issues that I saw on the video, one issue I wanted to fix was where the low point in my swing was versus where it needed to be. You see in golf when you hit an iron, the club needs to strike the ball first just before it strikes the ground, so the lowest point of the swing is actually in front of the ball.

I’ve always known this fact intellectually, and I’ve always thought my setup position was correct and the problem with my swing was something else I was doing wrong. But after seeing my swing on video, I quickly realized that the low point of my swing was actually behind the ball!

The next time I practiced, I simply made an adjustment that placed the ball slightly farther back in my stance than I had been used to… which brought the low point of my swing to be in front of the ball and bingo! My shots became solid, straight, and pure! A simple adjustment of where I needed to be relative to the ball and then without doing anything else differently… everything else fell into place. Life was good again!

Why do I reference this?

Well, recently I’ve been stressing about all the changes in our country and in the world in general. The rate of change is sometimes more than I can keep up with and I can tell it is having a negative effect on my psyche. Then one evening, my wife and I were talking about humility, and that word stuck with me for a couple of days. I just kept thinking about being humble and what that really means. What I learned was this…

Humility is actually an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails us not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously. Being humble is really the act of placing ourselves in the correct relationship under another authority. Back to my golf story, it’s the act of placing myself where I need to be relative to the ball in order to hit it properly.

When I get all stressed out and worried about our country and our world in general, I am placing myself in a position I don’t belong and shouldn’t be because I am not the one that can control it. What I need to do is get back to the place where I need to be and trust in the authority I have placed myself under to handle those issues. Once I do that, everything works.

So where is that proper place and who is that authority?

For me, the right place for me is to place myself under God. He is the only one that can make the changes that need to be made for our country and our world. Our leaders can’t and our culture won’t.

Practicing humility is tough…but it’s critical to our success and our overall happiness. Our culture views being humble as a bad thing. They try to tell us that it is disempowering and it promotes thinking less of ourselves. But in actuality, it is empowering because we are thinking of ourselves… less and that’s our perfect place. It’s the way we were designed and created to be.

So the next time you feel “out of sorts and stressed out”…make sure to check your setup.

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Reset…

One day at work I was having a problem with my computer. The screen was blinking on and off and the entire thing seemed off. So I did what I do to so many other of my electronic devices…I powered it off and then turned it back on. After a few minutes of “it doing its thing”….all was well once again. Problem solved.

I thought about this one morning driving to work in the early morning hours, long before the sun would come up. It’s my favorite time of the day. The roadways are empty and the entire world is just…quiet. It’s wonderful. It’s this time of day that I believe I hear God more clearly than at any other time.

On this particular morning, all I could hear was one phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.” That’s it…but I heard it over and over and over again. All the way during my 30-minute drive into work, I just kept hearing and thinking about that phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.”

So when I got to work, made my coffee, and sat down at my desk, I began to realize all the “background thoughts” that I was carrying with me, so I started writing them down. Here is the list:

  1. Worry
  2. Fear
  3. Disappointment
  4. Judgment
  5. Loss
  6. Regret
  7. Things I need to do

Then I repeated the phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.”

What this statement I had been pondering all morning was asking me to do was to release these “background thoughts” that were cluttering up my mind. God was asking me to give all of that to Him and for me just to be still and enjoy His presence.

So at the moment…I did… and immediately, I felt better. I felt like I had just dropped a heavy load off my shoulders and I felt like I could breathe again, smile again, and see clearly again. God had asked me to power down and just do a reset. That way, all the things in this world that seek to weigh me down would be placed back where they should be…at His feet.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’m not naive enough to know that this feeling will be permanent…but it certainly did help me be reminded that sometimes, regardless of what may or may not be happening in life…a simple reset will ensure that all systems are working as they should be my operating system is in harmony with the one that made it.

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Don’t Give Up…Give In…

2020 has been a difficult year thus far.

  • I’ve got close members of my family struggling with the possibility of divorce.
  • I’ve got close friends with health problems.
  • I’ve got close friends with significant financial problems.
  • I’ve got friends out of work…and the list could continue…

We have all been emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically stretched almost to the breaking point.

Each day we are met with something new to:

  1. Be afraid of…
  2. Be angry with…
  3. Mourn the loss of…

It’s crazy! So what are we supposed to do?

Not to downplay the significance of each situation, I think the first thing we need to recognize is the root cause we are triggered in the first place.

I think it all boils down to the fact that:

  1. We realize things are not going the way we want them to.
  2. We try to control situations that we ultimately can’t control.
  3. We project our interpretations of what the future will hold…and that future usually looks bad.

I realize…it’s hard not to get sucked into the daily pull towards negative thoughts and hopelessness…but hard is not impossible…it’s just hard.

So what do you do?

Don’t Give Up…Give In…

In the Bible, (Psalm 55:22) reminds us to, “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” NLT.

Why do we seldom truly “give” our burdens to the LORD? I know for me, I freely give all my burdens and concerns to Him each morning in prayer…and then by the end of the day… I have taken them all back…and I’m all anxious once again. Then the next morning…the process repeats itself.

But to really “give” means there is no taking back and to do that, I need to believe the following:

  1. God is real and present in my life. He hears my prayers…and gives a damn…
  2. God is capable…
  3. God is willing…

The great thing about God is this…He will never force Himself on us…either to believe in Him or to intervene in our life unwanted. But like pastor Andy Stanley once said, “Once you give your life to Christ…your problems are now His problems…”

…and if I truly believe that He is real, present, capable and willing…then my future… and all my problems and concerns are all His. And although I may try to take them back from time to time…I know He’ll allow me to do just that… until I once again realize their rightful owner…and give them back… He’s good like that…or better yet…He’s God like that!

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First things first…

Sometimes…I’m a worrier.

I was walking the jobsite recently worrying about a wide variety of issues. I was thinking about things that “could” happen or “might” happen and then thinking about steps to make sure what I want to happen… actually happens. In most cases, these thoughts were usually not the “good things” that could happen…they were usually bad…and with that came anxiety and worry. When I think about this…I’m embarrassed because 99% of the time…I can’t control the inevitable anyway! Yet, I continue to choose to carry the emotional burden of control anyway…ridiculous.

The Bible addresses this directly. In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus instructs us not to worry. He goes on to give examples of why worrying is a wasted effort…which I agree with…intellectually…but I often fail to do it…

So what can I do?

Verse 33 gives me the answer…“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…” Ok, so what does that look like to me?

Maybe it looks like this…

I’m right in the middle of some home renovations. During this process, I’ve tried to save money by doing most of the work myself. What I’m learning in the process is that it’s physically demanding on this 60-year-old body. I also don’t have the tools I need and as a result, I either have to work with what I have or go and buy the tools I need and that is becoming expensive. Also, I’ve never done some of the work before, so it is taking me much longer and the end result proves it.

What I should be doing is to find a contractor that has the correct tools and the skills to do what I need to have done. If I did that…it would take much less time and the results would be much better than I could have done and it would be a welcomed relief for my 60-year-old body.

In essence, it’s about seeking the “right” person for the job and realizing that in most cases, I’m not that person.

So, going back to Matthew 6:33…Jesus is saying that He is the right person for everything we need to be done…not us. We need to trust in his expertise and competence to do what needs to be done and if we do that…the results will be way more than what we could have done ourselves or what we would have expected.

Which brings me back to the jobsite. As I walked the site and contemplated these new thoughts, I immediately felt my worry and anxiety melt away. The problems I worried about were now His problems. My concerns were now His concerns and I let go of them…and felt better for it because I knew He would handle them. I knew He was in charge and I felt certain everything was going to be ok. At that moment, I happened to look down where I was standing and saw this on the ground…

Seek first…I got it…

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Character…

Recently, my wife and I took a local “staycation” to St. Petersburg, FL. We stayed in a nice hotel and just played tourist for the weekend. One morning we had breakfast at one of our favorite restaurants, The Mill. Along with breakfast, I had a glass of orange juice and from the moment I tasted it, I could tell it was fresh squeezed. It was amazing!

The next morning we had breakfast, this time at the hotel. Again, I ordered orange juice and this time I could certainly tell that it was anything BUT fresh-squeezed. The two couldn’t be more different, while they both originated from the same fruit the taste couldn’t compare.

The next day, I started thinking about my experience and the difference between the two juices and I thought about the verse in Matthew 7:

“By their fruit, you will recognize them. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.”

Picture a person in your life that has impacted you in a positive way. What attributes did they have that impacted you? These are the attributes that many call Character.

I believe – Character is what comes out of you when you are squeezed (when you experience adversity, pressure…) So my questions are…

  • What would come out of you?
  • Is it what you want?
  • Would someone put you on their list?

I don’t believe we can fake our own good character, it is simply revealed in us. Think of it like sediment… we only see it when we are shaken up. But where do we get it? Where can we find it?

I truly believe Character comes from what you are being fed. It comes from what you allow into your thoughts, what you are attached to, who you associate with, what you expose yourself to regularly.

Jesus said, I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

We have a choice of what (or whom) we are going to attach ourselves to…but be careful…this decision needs to be a very deliberate and intentional decision. Because it will also be what feeds us with thoughts, beliefs and it will shape the person we ultimately become.

Given the choice to be “fresh squeezed” is still a decision…choose wisely!

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Alignment…

Yesterday, I had a thought…I wondered if there was ANYTHING that got better when it was out of alignment. I couldn’t think of anything and even asked my team…and they were stumped as well.

Think about it…

Good relationships require alignment…communicating, sharing expectations and so forth…

Your car tires…naturally, drive better and smoother, and wear longer when they are regularly aligned.

As a Leader, one of the primary responsibilities is to get everyone aligned on the team’s goals and responsibilities.

Even in my “ever-changing” golf swing, one of my most basic swing faults is not having my body aligned correctly to the target. As a result, my body naturally begins to make all sorts of horrible compensations…and I then try to react to these compensations…and it goes downhill quickly…sound familiar?

Getting…and staying aligned is simple and basic, yet we often don’t take the time to make the effort…and as a result…all hell usually breaks out…

So take a look at your life…

Are you aligned with:

Your goals?

Your finances?

Your spouse?

Your friends and family?

Your faith?

Your little voice inside your head?

If not…write down what actions you need to take to get aligned…or at least better aligned!

Believe me…it’s worth the effort…and life doesn’t need more bumps in the road…

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Separated…

Last week I was watching the local news and there was a story about an experienced diver who was out in the Gulf of Mexico diving and got separated from his boat. (Read the story here). The resulting ordeal led to the man treading water in the open Gulf for 24 hours until he was eventually rescued. I’m sure when the diver went out that day, he never intended to become separated, we never do, but sometimes it just happens…

The story hit close to home with me… It reminded me of the time I went lobster diving with my friend Hal Flowers in Key West. (Yes, another Hal story…) This time we were out in the Gulf checking on some of the lobster traps he had previously set the weekend before. It was just he and I and we had been working the area for several hours already and it was getting close to the end of our day.

We had just anchored the boat over the spot our coordinates had indicated the traps were located. We both geared up with our dive masks, fins, and tanks and both went over the side of the boat.

Once in the water, I immediately noticed that the current had picked up significantly and was making it difficult to swim. Our plan was to swim against the current out past the trap locations and then turn back and swim with the current back to the boat as we checked on each trap.

As we moved out away from the boat, about 30´under the water, the current was not only making the swim difficult, it was making the visibility very difficult. Hal and I swam together and at times he would venture off and explore the underside of a rock ledge for random lobster gatherings as would I. But despite the decreasing visibility, we tried to keep together…or at least where we could see each other.

As I continued to swim, I was also keeping tabs of my remaining oxygen. The struggle against the current was causing me to work harder and as a result, I was using my oxygen at a rate much faster than I wanted. In fact, I was worried. It was that low…

As I continued to swim and check my gauge, I soon realized that Hal was now out of sight. I couldn’t see anything past about 5 feet in front of me and the current had changed directions and was really swirling and kicking up the sand. I felt like I was swimming in a snow globe!

I looked at my gauge and I was now in the red zone. I was running out of air. So I swam to the surface hoping to get a bearing on the boat and just swim back to it and wait for Hal. But when I reached the surface, the weather had also changed drastically. A storm had rolled in and the wind and waves were kicking up and the boat was nowhere to be seen. I looked in every direction and as the 5-foot waves bobbed me up and down there was no boat to be seen.

So I reluctantly went back down to about 20 feet and started swimming with the current. I had absolutely no idea where the boat was…I was in trouble…I was just riding the fierce current and wondering when I would take my last breath of air.

I couldn’t see a thing and just continued to swim with the weight of increasing panic closing in on me as I readied myself for what I was going to do once I ran out of air…which would be very, very soon… I thought that I would surface and inflate my buoyancy vest and then just wait it out…whatever “it” was going to be. I wasn’t panicked…but more of a feeling of dread was coming over me…

I looked at my air gauge and this time it was empty as I tried to limit my breaths to only short ones when I absolutely needed them. I continued to ride the current in a direction, not of my choosing…then…through the swirling green water… I saw something…

Off in the distance, I saw what looked like a rope extending from the surface down towards the bottom to an anchor. I anxiously reached the rope and took hold of it just as I took the very last breath the tank had for me…and I ascended to the surface not knowing what was on the other end of this rope…

When I came to the surface…there it was…OUR boat. The greatest sight I’ve ever seen in my life and of course, there was Hal on the boat asking…”Hey man, where did you go?”

I didn’t answer…I just pulled myself back in the boat…now…a very different person.

When I look back on that day, I realize several things…

1. I wasn’t a “believer” then, but I knew right then and there…I was carried back to that boat by something much stronger and much more powerful than that current. 2. I knew that I had screwed up by losing my dive partner, but I also knew that had not been alone. 3. I was still a long way from accepting my Savior, but that didn’t stop Him from saving me.

Years later, and now a Christian, I was reading the Bible for the first time, and I came upon this verse…

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

I may have been separated from Hal on that day…but now I know, I was never alone…and knowing this truth… has made all the difference …