Author: Bob Cloyd

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Sharpening…

A couple of months ago, the guys I work with talked me into getting a knife.   They all had them made fun of me because I didn’t carry one with me like they did on a daily basis.   So after a little bit of research, I got a nice knife.   Oddly, ever since getting it, not a week goes by that I’m not reaching into my pocket and pulling the knife out to open a package, mail, or cut something.

Naturally, once you get a knife, you need to keep it sharp.  So now I had to get a sharpening stone.   After several attempts, and several different types of sharpening devices…I found that the act of sharpening is one of my favorite things to do!   I find it so relaxing…almost meditative!

So recently as I was sharpening my knife, I began to think about what sharpening really is…

When I’m sharpening my knife…I’m actually removing small particles of the steel.   The action is very intentional and balanced and the small bits of steel are removed at a very precise angle for an intended purpose…bringing to edges together perfectly at precise and matching angles.

Then I started thinking about how this might apply to my life…

For me, if I was very intentional about removing certain things in my life…I think I would be better…”sharper” if you will.  Like my knife skills, this would require me to be very intentional about what those things are and they would need to be removed in a balanced and precise manner.

So what if I removed the following things from my life…

  • Fear and Worry
  • A couple of extra pounds
  • Some of the crap around the house that I no longer use
  • Some bills that I pay for services I don’t use
  • The desire to try to control every situation
  • Social Media
I think removing some of these things would make a huge difference.  It would make me happier, healthier and a better person to be around as well!   I’d be a better version of myself…I’d be sharper!
This sounds like a worthwhile exercise!   I could do with a bit of sharpening!  And with January 1st coming next week, I might have stumbled on my 2022 goal list!
One thing about sharpening though…it’s not a one-time thing.   It’s something that I’ll be working on throughout the year…but that’s ok.
Life is better with a little less sometimes…
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It’s all in the setup…

I love playing golf. I’m not good at it, but that doesn’t stop me from always practicing, tinkering, and trying to get better. In trying to get better, I recently videoed my swing. I was horrified. It was nothing like the swing I had pictured in my mind, it was nothing like the swing my body assured me that I had by simply feel and it is not the type of swing I ultimately want to have!

So in trying to work through some of the issues that I saw on the video, one issue I wanted to fix was where the low point in my swing was versus where it needed to be. You see in golf when you hit an iron, the club needs to strike the ball first just before it strikes the ground, so the lowest point of the swing is actually in front of the ball.

I’ve always known this fact intellectually, and I’ve always thought my setup position was correct and the problem with my swing was something else I was doing wrong. But after seeing my swing on video, I quickly realized that the low point of my swing was actually behind the ball!

The next time I practiced, I simply made an adjustment that placed the ball slightly farther back in my stance than I had been used to… which brought the low point of my swing to be in front of the ball and bingo! My shots became solid, straight, and pure! A simple adjustment of where I needed to be relative to the ball and then without doing anything else differently… everything else fell into place. Life was good again!

Why do I reference this?

Well, recently I’ve been stressing about all the changes in our country and in the world in general. The rate of change is sometimes more than I can keep up with and I can tell it is having a negative effect on my psyche. Then one evening, my wife and I were talking about humility, and that word stuck with me for a couple of days. I just kept thinking about being humble and what that really means. What I learned was this…

Humility is actually an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails us not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously. Being humble is really the act of placing ourselves in the correct relationship under another authority. Back to my golf story, it’s the act of placing myself where I need to be relative to the ball in order to hit it properly.

When I get all stressed out and worried about our country and our world in general, I am placing myself in a position I don’t belong and shouldn’t be because I am not the one that can control it. What I need to do is get back to the place where I need to be and trust in the authority I have placed myself under to handle those issues. Once I do that, everything works.

So where is that proper place and who is that authority?

For me, the right place for me is to place myself under God. He is the only one that can make the changes that need to be made for our country and our world. Our leaders can’t and our culture won’t.

Practicing humility is tough…but it’s critical to our success and our overall happiness. Our culture views being humble as a bad thing. They try to tell us that it is disempowering and it promotes thinking less of ourselves. But in actuality, it is empowering because we are thinking of ourselves… less and that’s our perfect place. It’s the way we were designed and created to be.

So the next time you feel “out of sorts and stressed out”…make sure to check your setup.

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Trust…

I’ve been thinking a lot about trust recently. What is it and why is it important? What are the effects of having it…and not having it? Whom do I trust and why?

It used to be that I trusted a lot of things and a lot of people.

  • I trusted the news.
  • I trusted our government.
  • I trusted my teachers.
  • I trusted my doctor.
  • I trusted what I was told.
  • I trusted the closest people in my life.
  • I trusted the decisions of those in charge.
  • I trusted those I loved.
  • I trusted that given a chance, people would do the right thing.

Lot’s has changed.

I’m not so sure anymore. The once long list of things I trusted and people I trusted has drastically be whittled down over time. Why is that? What changed?

Well, to begin with, the very essence of “trust” begins with the two letters securely placed within the word itself…” us“. To me, trust is a voluntary transaction between two parties. It is my relinquishing power, control, care, well-being, safety from myself to another entity. It’s my belief that there is a mutual concern about “us”, and that my well-being will be viewed just as important to them as their well-being.

As I said, a lot has changed…

What are the effects of this change?

Well, the world is certainly a more lonely place without trust. Living in a world where everything you see, hear and experience has to be scrutinized and researched certainly is an emotional grind. That once “voluntary transaction” has become something I consciously hold on to and protect as my life depends on it…and it very well might!

What is the solution?

I’ve always viewed trust in terms of an equation. It can be summed up like this: Consistent behavior/time. That’s it. When I observe someone’s consistent behavior over a long period of time, it helps me assess whether that person is someone I may want to trust or not. That might also explain why trust is in such short supply these days.

There has been such a dramatic shift in what we say we believe, who we believe and why we should believe it. We are changing our history, our culture, and our character at a record rate. What once was held as true and noble is now questioned and discouraged. Having a differing opinion from the masses now comes with punitive consequences. What was true 5 years ago is ridiculed today.

But there is an upside…

The upside for me is quite simply…my faith. These days… and the challenges that each day brings… makes me hold on to the only thing that has never once waivered, never once let me down, never once disappointed me, (and utilizing my equation)… has been incredibly consistent over time…all of time.

I have leaned on … and leaned into my faith in Christ more in the past few years than I ever have and each day I return to Him to check my thoughts, my beliefs, and my actions. It’s hard for me to think about having to go through this life…in these times without faith. It is truly the only place where I can fully and completely voluntarily give everything over to someone whom I know without a doubt will place my well-being equal to or greater than His own…because He’s already done it once…for all of us.

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Reset…

One day at work I was having a problem with my computer. The screen was blinking on and off and the entire thing seemed off. So I did what I do to so many other of my electronic devices…I powered it off and then turned it back on. After a few minutes of “it doing its thing”….all was well once again. Problem solved.

I thought about this one morning driving to work in the early morning hours, long before the sun would come up. It’s my favorite time of the day. The roadways are empty and the entire world is just…quiet. It’s wonderful. It’s this time of day that I believe I hear God more clearly than at any other time.

On this particular morning, all I could hear was one phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.” That’s it…but I heard it over and over and over again. All the way during my 30-minute drive into work, I just kept hearing and thinking about that phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.”

So when I got to work, made my coffee, and sat down at my desk, I began to realize all the “background thoughts” that I was carrying with me, so I started writing them down. Here is the list:

  1. Worry
  2. Fear
  3. Disappointment
  4. Judgment
  5. Loss
  6. Regret
  7. Things I need to do

Then I repeated the phrase, “Be still and know that I am God.”

What this statement I had been pondering all morning was asking me to do was to release these “background thoughts” that were cluttering up my mind. God was asking me to give all of that to Him and for me just to be still and enjoy His presence.

So at the moment…I did… and immediately, I felt better. I felt like I had just dropped a heavy load off my shoulders and I felt like I could breathe again, smile again, and see clearly again. God had asked me to power down and just do a reset. That way, all the things in this world that seek to weigh me down would be placed back where they should be…at His feet.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’m not naive enough to know that this feeling will be permanent…but it certainly did help me be reminded that sometimes, regardless of what may or may not be happening in life…a simple reset will ensure that all systems are working as they should be my operating system is in harmony with the one that made it.

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I’m givin’ ’em “L”…!

In the past few months, I’ve been amazed at the changes that have been taking place in the way we live our lives and the changes being proposed for our country. I feel as though the list of things I “must” do is increasing and the list of things I’m “allowed” to do is decreasing. All this change and uncertainty has the potential to do one of two things…shut me down…or fire me up.

I’m choosing the latter… I’m going to give ’em “L”….!

What do I mean? Well, one day last week while driving to work, I began thinking of words that inspire me. Most of these words had one thing in common…they all began with the letter “L”. So I sat down that day and wrote down those words and why… Here it is…

  1. Love – This is my God-given superpower. It grows stronger the more I use it.
  2. Listen – I’ve learned over the years that the more I listen, the less I need to speak…think about that…!
  3. Learn – I think Learning = Growing and if I’m not growing…I’m dying. There is no middle ground.
  4. Let – Think about each word in the Children’s song “Row, Row, Row your boat”…
  5. Look – I often see…but I seldom look. I need to “look” more.
  6. Laugh – This is life’s medicine and I need a regular dose of it.
  7. Labor – Nothing I value was obtained without work… So when I’m struggling…I’m building something that I’ll one day be very proud of.
  8. Liberate – What things am I carrying around that are not serving me? Guilt? Fear? Unforgiveness? Time to let go…I have that power…and responsibility.
  9. Limit – The more I have, the less it means to me. Make sure I cherish all that I have.
  10. Lift – I’ve learned the best thing to do when I’m feeling down…is to lift someone else up!
  11. Lean – The Bible says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” I am stronger…and better…wrapped tightly around the right people.
  12. Lead – At various times throughout my life, I have been and will be responsible for the actions, the future, and the care of others. How I live…is how I will lead.

I’m quickly coming to grips with the realization that I am responsible for how I will meet the days to come. It’s going to require me to be grounded in some basic tenets of what I want my character to be and reflect to the rest of the world. It seems I’ve found a decent foundation that I can build on and now it’s time to act…

I’m going to give ’em “L”!

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…Where do we go?

Last night at dinner, my wife was sharing with me her fears and struggles of weighing her love of teaching with the fears of contracting COVID-19. Should she continue teaching or should she quit? She recounted the list of all the recent people in the news that had passed away from the disease and projected the emotional impact it would take on her daughter and granddaughters in the event she contracted the disease and ultimately passed away! (Yes…that was our dinner conversation…) She was distraught and bound by the fear of the possibility of…regardless of its likelihood and ultimate effect.

My wife is not alone in her fears.

After listening to her talk and get increasingly “wound up”, I finally had to ask, “where’s your faith?”

Her response was, “I have faith, but I also want to be wise.” I agreed and asked her where she looked for that “wisdom.” She was quiet. I knew the answer…TV.

Today, I finished reading the entire Bible cover to cover for the 16th time. It’s been a daily practice and one of the reasons I get up at 3:45 am each working day and get to work…to spend time with God. It’s critical for me to start each day aligned and close to what I believe the will of God is for me in my life. I never want to start a day going in a direction God doesn’t want me to go. Reflecting on my conversation with my wife, I reminded of a couple of things:

  1. Fear and Faith cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Just like light and darkness. It must be one or the other…our choice.
  2. Nothing in this life is a surprise to God. He’s not going to say, “Oh crap, I didn’t see that coming!”
  3. He offers us His presence. Yet so many of us decline the offer…even believers!

I picture God is holding an umbrella and He invites us to come in out of the rain, come in out of the fear, come in out of the uncertainty, and to stand protected, dry, and safely close to Him. Yet, many choose to stay out in the rain and get wet.

Even when there is no storm, His umbrella offers protection from the heat of the sun and its long-term damage. When things are “going good” for us, when we are healthy, when we have enough money, when we apparently “don’t need Him” is really when we do! He offers us the umbrella that provides His wisdom, His grace, His forgiveness, and His peace…the things we all need to build as our foundation, but rarely reach out for it until there is a storm.

And I believe a storm is coming.

With all that is happening in our world, I honestly believe that we are in for some difficult days ahead.

Our world, our country our families, and our friends are on two distinct sides of the fence. We both believe we are right and we both believe the other side is bad or stupid. We are repeatedly being told what we are to believe and how we are to act. And we do…because we “trust” it is in our best interest…but what if it’s not? How would we know?

I don’t have the answers. But we know the one that does. Yet we rarely ask!

Back to my conversation last night with my wife. She was struggling with what she should do considering all her fears and what she had received from the news reports. So, I asked her, “what did God say you should do?” She was quiet. She hadn’t asked…

I pray that in the days to come…we all would change that. Ask! Each day! For what to do that day!

I shared with her that I only knew one thing. I knew that each day of my life I was going to make sure I began each day under what I believe was the will of God. I didn’t care what that looked like as long as it was what I believed was His will. Regardless of what happens or what is happening with me, to me, or around me…I was going to stay under that umbrella…and as close to the one holding it as possible.

You’ve been invited in to join me…come on in…there’s plenty of room.

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Don’t Give Up…Give In…

2020 has been a difficult year thus far.

  • I’ve got close members of my family struggling with the possibility of divorce.
  • I’ve got close friends with health problems.
  • I’ve got close friends with significant financial problems.
  • I’ve got friends out of work…and the list could continue…

We have all been emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically stretched almost to the breaking point.

Each day we are met with something new to:

  1. Be afraid of…
  2. Be angry with…
  3. Mourn the loss of…

It’s crazy! So what are we supposed to do?

Not to downplay the significance of each situation, I think the first thing we need to recognize is the root cause we are triggered in the first place.

I think it all boils down to the fact that:

  1. We realize things are not going the way we want them to.
  2. We try to control situations that we ultimately can’t control.
  3. We project our interpretations of what the future will hold…and that future usually looks bad.

I realize…it’s hard not to get sucked into the daily pull towards negative thoughts and hopelessness…but hard is not impossible…it’s just hard.

So what do you do?

Don’t Give Up…Give In…

In the Bible, (Psalm 55:22) reminds us to, “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” NLT.

Why do we seldom truly “give” our burdens to the LORD? I know for me, I freely give all my burdens and concerns to Him each morning in prayer…and then by the end of the day… I have taken them all back…and I’m all anxious once again. Then the next morning…the process repeats itself.

But to really “give” means there is no taking back and to do that, I need to believe the following:

  1. God is real and present in my life. He hears my prayers…and gives a damn…
  2. God is capable…
  3. God is willing…

The great thing about God is this…He will never force Himself on us…either to believe in Him or to intervene in our life unwanted. But like pastor Andy Stanley once said, “Once you give your life to Christ…your problems are now His problems…”

…and if I truly believe that He is real, present, capable and willing…then my future… and all my problems and concerns are all His. And although I may try to take them back from time to time…I know He’ll allow me to do just that… until I once again realize their rightful owner…and give them back… He’s good like that…or better yet…He’s God like that!

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The Emperor’s New Clothes…

photo from Wikipedia

Last night when I came home after work, I was greeted by my wife who was excited to show me her new purchase…several new face masks that she bought at the grocery store… I managed to contain my excitement…

Fast forward to this morning at 4:53 am as I make my way to work and as I am driving, I am having my morning prayer time…

Typically when I pray, most of my focus is spent asking God to intervene or help me with my marriage, my work, my friends and my family, and then at the end, I throw in prayers for our leaders and our world. Most of my prayers are centered around the areas of life closest to me…but not now… Now my prayers are focused on a national and global scale and less about me…I’m truly perplexed…and I’m not sure what to do…

I believe that there is good within each and every situation…and we just have to stop and look for it. So as part of my prayer time this morning…I went looking for good… and here is what I found…

I saw behind the curtain…

  • I saw how easily and quickly we have given up our freedom and liberty.
  • I saw how quickly the entire world reacted in a similar manner. How did that happen?
  • I saw how quickly our way of being, our beliefs, and our values were rapidly exchanged for blind obedience.
  • I saw how the world is reacting to data that is not being verified and challenged.
  • I saw how questioning or challenging the social narrative is quickly discouraged not only by those “in charge”…but friends, neighbors, and society in general.

How does the entire world change so rapidly and so drastically and why are so many of us ok with it?

Then, I thought about the childhood story “The Emperor’s New Clothes” written by Hans Christian Andersen and published in 1837. As you recall, the story is about two weavers who promise an emperor a new suit of clothes. They say the fabric is invisible to those who are unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent – while in reality, they make no clothes at all! When the emperor parades before his subjects in his new “clothes”, no one dares to say that they do not see any suit of clothes on him for fear that they will be seen as stupid or incompetent. Finally, a child cries out saying, “He isn’t wearing anything at all!”

The simplicity of this childhood story published 183 years ago has never been more relevant than I believe it is today. We need more voices… Whatever or whoever is behind that curtain is not good. Despite what is said, they are not looking after our best interests. And it’s certainly not what God wants for all of us… If you don’t believe me…try going to church!

We need more voices…we need to question all information…we need to do what is right, not necessarily what we are told…we need to place our obedience in the one that loves us…created us… and died for us.

The state of this world should not be a surprise… and we’re probably not going to change it…however, we still have the power…and the responsibility … to choose how we will exist in it…is a choice that is entirely up to us.

I hope we will step back and look…look up…and then choose wisely.

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Fighting the “good” fight…

Game on…

Who would have thought that just a few months ago, the world would look the way it currently does… Fortunately, I still have a job that I can go to and do what I love to do. But I also realize this is not the case for many, many others. We are literally being bombarded with “apparent” reasons to stress out, worry, and be afraid.

I’m on conference calls several times a week discussing the constantly changing rules and requirements that need to be adhered to or implemented immediately. We truly are at war with an “unseen enemy”…but that is really nothing new…when you think about it…we’ve always been.

While COVID-19 seems to be the “enemy” of the day, we have always been in a constant fight against an unseen enemy. It’s been a battle not only for our health…it’s a battle for our thoughts, our beliefs, our marriages, and our souls. There is an unseen enemy that has plagued our lives from the very beginning and the sad part is…many of us just choose to ignore it. Millions of us have fallen victim to this enemy that literally wants to kill us, to ruin our lives or at least to make us give up on hope…but we can fight back.

But concerning the COVID-19 virus, we are being told to implement the following precautions:

  1. Maintain Social distancing
  2. Wash you hands
  3. Wear masks

But these precautions are also applicable to the spiritual enemy that we also face. Here’s what I mean…

  1. Social distancing. We need to stay away from things that do not uplift us. Stop watching the news, or movies or reading books that make you feel worse rather than better.
  2. Wash your hands. If we are not careful, bad things will stick to us that we need to get rid of. Have we inadvertently picked up or developed some habits that are not serving us? Are we putting things into our bodies that are bad for our long term? How about what we say? Are we encouraging or discouraging? How about our thoughts? Do we have thoughts of hope or thoughts of despair? Have we claimed our strength or given it away?
  3. Wear masks. How about how you appear to others? Do you smile? Do you walk with your shoulders back and standing tall? Do you whistle or hum? (I don’t believe you can do either of those if you’re in a bad mood). How to you appear to others? Have you ever thought about that?

Yes, we are in a battle…but we’ve always been…it’s just a different enemy coming from a different angle and unfortunately that situation is not going to go away…not for a long, long time.

There is good news though.

We can win this battle. But we have to fight each and every day. Get used to it. The world we currently inhabit is our battlefield and our enemy owns it…for now. We can “fight the good fight”, but we don’t have to do it alone. In fact, if you choose to go it alone…your chances of success are minimal if at all.

What am I getting at? Let me cut to the chase…

It breaks my heart to think about all the people in my life that have not given their life to Christ. I know that many of them feel if they do, they will be giving up something. They believe all the fun will go out of how they live. But all of that couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s in Him where we can find our strength, our security, and our hope that regardless of what happens…we are never alone or off His radar. He promises us this. “I will never leave you or forsake you.” That was His promise…and to date…when I look back on my life…many people have said something similar to me and have failed to live up to that promise…but Christ has never, ever let me down.

I can’t imagine going through this crisis, this life…without this assurance. In my relationship with Christ, I know with certainty one thing…that regardless of what happens…I’ll be alright…and I live each day by that assurance. As pastor Andy Stanley once said, “when you give your life to Christ, your problems are now His problem.” And frankly, I’m good with that!

How about you…aren’t you tired of going it alone?

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First things first…

Sometimes…I’m a worrier.

I was walking the jobsite recently worrying about a wide variety of issues. I was thinking about things that “could” happen or “might” happen and then thinking about steps to make sure what I want to happen… actually happens. In most cases, these thoughts were usually not the “good things” that could happen…they were usually bad…and with that came anxiety and worry. When I think about this…I’m embarrassed because 99% of the time…I can’t control the inevitable anyway! Yet, I continue to choose to carry the emotional burden of control anyway…ridiculous.

The Bible addresses this directly. In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus instructs us not to worry. He goes on to give examples of why worrying is a wasted effort…which I agree with…intellectually…but I often fail to do it…

So what can I do?

Verse 33 gives me the answer…“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…” Ok, so what does that look like to me?

Maybe it looks like this…

I’m right in the middle of some home renovations. During this process, I’ve tried to save money by doing most of the work myself. What I’m learning in the process is that it’s physically demanding on this 60-year-old body. I also don’t have the tools I need and as a result, I either have to work with what I have or go and buy the tools I need and that is becoming expensive. Also, I’ve never done some of the work before, so it is taking me much longer and the end result proves it.

What I should be doing is to find a contractor that has the correct tools and the skills to do what I need to have done. If I did that…it would take much less time and the results would be much better than I could have done and it would be a welcomed relief for my 60-year-old body.

In essence, it’s about seeking the “right” person for the job and realizing that in most cases, I’m not that person.

So, going back to Matthew 6:33…Jesus is saying that He is the right person for everything we need to be done…not us. We need to trust in his expertise and competence to do what needs to be done and if we do that…the results will be way more than what we could have done ourselves or what we would have expected.

Which brings me back to the jobsite. As I walked the site and contemplated these new thoughts, I immediately felt my worry and anxiety melt away. The problems I worried about were now His problems. My concerns were now His concerns and I let go of them…and felt better for it because I knew He would handle them. I knew He was in charge and I felt certain everything was going to be ok. At that moment, I happened to look down where I was standing and saw this on the ground…

Seek first…I got it…